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00:00:29,112 --> 00:00:31,657
TIM: One of the reasons
I love Brown Valley so much
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00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,659
is that when you do business here,
3
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:36,078
chances are good
you know the person you're dealing with.
4
00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:40,791
They're a neighbor or a friend
or a friend of a friend.
5
00:00:40,916 --> 00:00:44,378
And you can trust them
because they're part of a community.
6
00:00:44,461 --> 00:00:48,215
If there is a bad egg around,
people find out pretty fast.
7
00:00:48,298 --> 00:00:51,885
This is why BrownStar Insurance
has prospered for 25 years.
8
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,804
We always do right by our customers.
9
00:00:54,972 --> 00:00:56,431
(SIGHING) Kurt, Pam,
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00:00:56,598 --> 00:01:00,352
this policy's gonna save you $400 a year,
and it covers everything you need.
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00:01:00,435 --> 00:01:02,229
Down the road, you win the lottery,
come back on in here,
12
00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,273
and I'll sell you the spendiest policy we got.
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00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:07,442
Seriously, guys, I'm gonna take care of you.
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00:01:26,837 --> 00:01:27,921
(DOORBELL RINGS)
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00:01:28,338 --> 00:01:31,508
- Hello, Mrs. Vanderhei.
-It's Macy, Tim.
16
00:01:32,009 --> 00:01:34,553
- I told you to call me Macy.
- Sorry, I keep forgetting.
17
00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:38,223
- It's a hard habit to break.
- Well, you better get it right soon or
18
00:01:39,057 --> 00:01:41,059
I'm gonna have to
make you stay after school.
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00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:44,563
(MACY MOANING)
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00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,649
MACY: Bring it. Bring it.
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00:01:49,401 --> 00:01:51,028
(EXCLAIMING)
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00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:55,699
There you go. (EXHALES DEEPLY)
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00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:59,453
Do you realize
I used to just stare and stare at you
24
00:01:59,536 --> 00:02:02,080
when you were teaching us
about the rainforests or whatever?
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00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:04,082
And I would think,
26
00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,627
"I wonder what Mrs. V looks like
with her clothes off."
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00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:13,800
And then, boom, we run into each other
in line at True Value
28
00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:16,595
and, boom, here we are, making love.
29
00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:18,096
Like, once a week.
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00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:20,641
It's like it was fate or something.
31
00:02:21,850 --> 00:02:24,561
Did you ever used to look at me
and think dirty things?
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00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:26,938
You were 12.
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00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:28,732
Right.
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00:02:30,567 --> 00:02:32,277
I got you something.
35
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:42,663
(CHIRPING)
36
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,749
-it's a scarlet tanager.
- Mmm.
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00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:48,126
Like the birds you had in your classroom.
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00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:52,214
That's very sweet. Thank you.
39
00:02:52,631 --> 00:02:53,757
Wait, wait.
40
00:02:54,466 --> 00:02:55,634
Look on his wing.
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00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:57,844
MACY: Hmm.
42
00:02:57,928 --> 00:02:59,680
Isn't that pretty? Is that a...
43
00:02:59,763 --> 00:03:00,847
It's a promise ring.
44
00:03:04,142 --> 00:03:05,227
Promising what?
45
00:03:06,561 --> 00:03:07,688
Well... (CHUCKLES)
46
00:03:07,771 --> 00:03:10,607
We're just having a good time here.
47
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:14,152
No, we're not. We're having the best time.
48
00:03:21,159 --> 00:03:23,412
Hi, I'm Roger Lemke.
49
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:26,581
At BrownStar Insurance,
we endeavor to give you
50
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:29,000
the coverage you need
at the best prices around.
51
00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:32,003
It's the reason that
BrownStar Insurance has been awarded
52
00:03:32,087 --> 00:03:34,506
the prestigious Two Diamond Award
53
00:03:34,589 --> 00:03:37,134
from the
American Society of Mutual Insurers
54
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:39,720
for three years running.
55
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,013
Because at BrownStar Insurance,
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00:03:42,431 --> 00:03:43,974
we insure your dreams.
57
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:45,892
-(ALL CHEERING)
- Holy Christmas!
58
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,519
You knocked her out of the park.
59
00:03:47,853 --> 00:03:50,605
You knocked it out of the G-D park, buddy!
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00:03:50,856 --> 00:03:52,983
I'm just a pretty face.
That copy was all you, Bill.
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00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,277
- Well, I...
- I do have one gripe with you, boss.
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00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,654
- Mmm-hmm?
- If you'd waited till after Cedar Rapids,
63
00:03:57,904 --> 00:04:00,115
I could have won the Two Diamonds for you
four years running.
64
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:01,324
Four years!
65
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,201
- How do you it, Roger?
-(LAUGHING)
66
00:04:04,327 --> 00:04:06,246
- So proud of you, Roggie.
- Mmm...
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00:04:08,999 --> 00:04:10,125
TIM: Hey, Roger.
68
00:04:10,917 --> 00:04:12,836
Tim Lippe! I didn't even see you there.
69
00:04:14,296 --> 00:04:15,714
Oh, man.
70
00:04:16,173 --> 00:04:19,050
- Did you see it?
- Yeah. You were so awesome.
71
00:04:19,134 --> 00:04:21,720
- Oh! Thanks, buddy. Thank you.
- Super awesome. Just...
72
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,305
Hey, Roger. (GIGGLES)
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00:04:23,388 --> 00:04:25,390
Watch your back, Brad Pitt.
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00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,933
(LAUGHS)
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00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,060
ROGER: Thank you
for the kind words, buddy.
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00:04:29,144 --> 00:04:30,854
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
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00:04:31,730 --> 00:04:33,440
TIM: Wow, cake.
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00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,735
Awesome.
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00:04:37,903 --> 00:04:39,488
(PHONE RINGING)
80
00:04:42,157 --> 00:04:44,659
- Hello?
- Tim, it's Bill.
81
00:04:44,743 --> 00:04:47,120
- Hey, Bill.
- He's gone! Tim, he's gone.
82
00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,080
(CRYING) Oh, God, I can't believe it.
83
00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:52,417
- What?
- It's Roger.
84
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:54,461
What are you...
What are you talking about?
85
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:58,673
Gwen found him in the bathroom.
He had a belt tied around his neck.
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00:04:58,757 --> 00:05:00,217
Oh, my gosh.
87
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:03,762
- He was half naked, Tim.
- Oh, jeez.
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00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,319
(WHIRRING)
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00:05:25,909 --> 00:05:29,538
BILL: All this time,
Roger was some kind of twisted deviant.
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00:05:29,621 --> 00:05:31,665
TIM: Bill, the way Roger died
was an accident.
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00:05:31,748 --> 00:05:34,709
BILL: (SCOFFS) Believe what you want,
but people are talking, Tim.
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00:05:35,252 --> 00:05:38,463
Commitment to God
is a big part of the Two Diamonds.
93
00:05:38,797 --> 00:05:40,298
Big part.
94
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:42,259
Now, people are talking.
95
00:05:42,384 --> 00:05:45,804
Hey, come here, come here. Here you go.
96
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:50,225
This was Roger's
Two Diamonds presentation.
97
00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:52,978
Yeah, and it's a guaranteed
Two Diamond winner.
98
00:05:53,061 --> 00:05:54,396
And believe me, I'd go myself,
99
00:05:54,479 --> 00:05:56,815
but I'm locked in to my daughter's wedding
over in Gladstone
100
00:05:56,898 --> 00:05:58,525
I got no flex.
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00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:01,027
What are you saying, Bill?
102
00:06:01,194 --> 00:06:04,739
I am saying, you need to go down there
and give this presentation, Tim.
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00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,449
I can't go to Cedar Rapids.
104
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,451
You can't... You don't want
to send me to Cedar Rapids.
105
00:06:08,535 --> 00:06:11,162
All right, listen to me, you were what, 16,
106
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:14,207
when I gave you that filing job
right after your mom passed?
107
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,586
You were living on your own, pretty much.
All by yourself.
108
00:06:17,669 --> 00:06:21,423
And I'm thinking, "Now, here's a kid
who's gonna go places."
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00:06:21,506 --> 00:06:23,800
And then somehow, you just didn't.
110
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,219
- I can't.
- You're all I got, kid.
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00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:30,307
I need you to go down there and prove
that BrownStar is a good outfit,
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00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:33,727
an upstanding goddamn Christian outfit.
113
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,607
Now, the only thing
you have to worry about getting good with
114
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:41,192
is Orin Helgesson.
115
00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:42,986
He's the president.
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00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:45,530
He's the final decider
on the Two Diamonds.
117
00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:47,657
So, near the end of the weekend,
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00:06:47,741 --> 00:06:50,952
you're gonna sit down
one-on-one with him in his suite
119
00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:52,704
and deliver that presentation.
120
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:57,000
He needs to be convinced that
we're still worthy of that award.
121
00:06:57,083 --> 00:07:00,253
If we don't fix this,
our clients will leave us, Tim.
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00:07:00,337 --> 00:07:01,546
And we'll all be out in the street.
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00:07:01,671 --> 00:07:05,342
Farmers are confronted
with an unpredictable risk-filled...
124
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:09,262
Unpredictable world
of risk-filled uncertainty.
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00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,725
TIM: Cedar Rapids.
MACY: Cedar Rapids.
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00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:16,686
TIM: I can't believe that I'm actually going.
But I gotta do it, right?
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00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,355
I mean, it's not just my job.
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00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,316
Six other people's entire livelihoods
depend on this.
129
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:24,527
Plus Carol,
who does part-time seasonal work, so...
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00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:25,820
You'll be fine.
131
00:07:26,821 --> 00:07:29,199
- Hey, Charlie.
- Tim, what's up?
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00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,993
I'm going down to Cedar Rapids
for the big ASMI convention.
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00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:34,120
Oh, good. Good.
134
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:37,040
- You can keep that for now.
-(CLEARS THROAT)
135
00:07:37,123 --> 00:07:41,211
So all liquids, gels, aerosols
must be placed in a Ziploc,
136
00:07:41,544 --> 00:07:45,006
and then your computer, we take out
of the case and run through the machine.
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00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:46,758
(SNICKERS)
138
00:07:48,051 --> 00:07:49,594
It's just me.
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00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:51,596
Yeah, we gotta do it for everybody, so...
140
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:53,348
Tim!
141
00:07:53,807 --> 00:07:55,642
Oh, praise Christ you haven't left yet.
142
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:56,851
Hey, Bill.
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00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,229
(PANTING) Hey.
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00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,690
I can't believe I forgot to give this to you.
145
00:08:01,773 --> 00:08:03,817
It's an ASMI bible. All right?
146
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,653
It'll tell you who to talk to
and who to avoid,
147
00:08:06,736 --> 00:08:09,572
who best to fellowship with,
network, you know.
148
00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,992
Dean Ziegler, Stevens Point, Wisconsin.
149
00:08:12,242 --> 00:08:13,368
Ziegler.
150
00:08:13,535 --> 00:08:15,912
You know that son of bitch
called one of Lemke's biggest clients,
151
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,414
Joyce Arm bruster?
152
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:20,834
Smeared Roger's name.
Freaking goddang poacher.
153
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:24,504
Avoid Ziegler like the plague, please.
154
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,965
Now, Ronald Wilkes,
the guy I got you rooming with,
155
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:28,842
-that's who I want you to stick by.
- Okay.
156
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,344
All right? All right, then, come here.
Come on.
157
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:35,348
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
158
00:08:35,974 --> 00:08:39,060
Well, you lucky ducks
have obviously been seated in an exit row.
159
00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:42,105
I just need to make sure you're willing
and able to assist crew members
160
00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:44,274
in the event of an emergency evacuation.
161
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:47,736
I've actually never been
on an airplane before.
162
00:08:48,069 --> 00:08:49,863
Well, you'll do awesome.
163
00:08:50,572 --> 00:08:54,325
Well, if you do need help, I'm in.
164
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:56,661
Thank you.
165
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:23,897
Oh, sweet.
166
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,628
Hey, man. Can I bum a heater?
167
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:47,837
What's that now?
168
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,256
- A cigarette?
-(CHUCKLES)
169
00:09:50,673 --> 00:09:52,175
No, sorry, I can't help you there.
170
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,260
- Are you here for the convention?
- Yeah.
171
00:09:54,344 --> 00:09:57,806
Yeah. Tim Lippe, BrownStar Insurance.
172
00:09:58,348 --> 00:10:00,100
Bree. I'm Bree.
173
00:10:00,183 --> 00:10:01,351
Nice to meet you, Bree.
174
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,019
Old trade secret for you.
175
00:10:03,144 --> 00:10:05,438
If you keep smoking, your premiums
are gonna go through the roof.
176
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:06,606
(LAUGHS)
177
00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:07,857
Thanks, Dr. Phil.
178
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,192
(LAUGHS)
179
00:10:09,275 --> 00:10:12,195
Hey, instead of a heater,
how about butterscotch?
180
00:10:12,695 --> 00:10:14,364
Nice.
181
00:10:15,532 --> 00:10:18,701
Listen, Tim, if you wanna party,
you let me know.
182
00:10:18,785 --> 00:10:19,869
I'm always around.
183
00:10:20,286 --> 00:10:24,207
You got it. Party hardy.
Nice chatting with you, Bree. See you.
184
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:32,966
Wow!
185
00:10:37,846 --> 00:10:39,013
Checking in with us, sir?
186
00:10:40,140 --> 00:10:42,642
Yeah, I am. Pretty excited about it, too.
187
00:10:42,725 --> 00:10:44,727
All right. Can I get your name?
188
00:10:45,311 --> 00:10:46,312
Tim Lippe.
189
00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,982
And we just need a credit card
for the incidentals.
190
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:54,362
Well, Trent, I was under the impression
that you honored traveler's checks.
191
00:10:54,654 --> 00:10:58,241
You bet. We just need
to make an imprint of the card,
192
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,202
just like I say, for the incidentals.
193
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:03,830
Credit card?
194
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,086
All right.
195
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,590
It's standard.
196
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,345
Don't worry. We are not gonna charge it.
197
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:22,432
No, see. Looks liked you just charged it.
198
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:23,766
Just an imprint.
199
00:11:23,892 --> 00:11:24,934
Okay.
200
00:11:26,436 --> 00:11:27,937
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
201
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:29,856
Hey, Tim.
202
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:34,235
So I just did the whole check-in rigmarole,
and I'm on my way to my room.
203
00:11:34,402 --> 00:11:36,446
- Have you seen the pool yet?
- Yeah.
204
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:40,074
(CHUCKLES) It's incredible.
I mean, there's like palm trees and stuff.
205
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:43,786
And the whole place smells like chlorine.
It's like I'm in Barbados or somewhere.
206
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,748
Oh, here we are. Mi casa.
207
00:11:46,873 --> 00:11:49,250
Junior suite. Hang on a second here.
208
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:54,964
Figure out how this deal works.
The key is like a stinking credit card.
209
00:11:55,298 --> 00:11:56,466
(GASPS)
210
00:11:56,591 --> 00:11:57,759
What is it? Tim?
211
00:11:57,967 --> 00:12:00,428
There's an Afro-American man
standing in my room.
212
00:12:00,803 --> 00:12:02,388
What's he doing?
213
00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:05,225
He's smiling at me.
214
00:12:05,391 --> 00:12:07,268
Oh, no. Run for your life.
215
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,312
Are you Tim? Tim Lippe?
216
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:10,980
I'm Ronald Wilkes.
217
00:12:11,439 --> 00:12:13,775
Bill Krogstad said
we were gonna be roommates.
218
00:12:13,900 --> 00:12:15,610
Tim, are you okay?
219
00:12:15,818 --> 00:12:17,487
- Does he speak your language?
- Yes.
220
00:12:17,612 --> 00:12:20,573
He actually seems pretty friendly
so I'm gonna call you back later, okay?
221
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:22,325
You are Tim?
222
00:12:22,408 --> 00:12:24,077
(CHUCKLES) Oh, yes, of course I am.
223
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,162
Just for a minute there, I was like, "Whoa."
224
00:12:26,246 --> 00:12:27,330
Okay.
225
00:12:28,122 --> 00:12:29,832
You wanna come in
and take a look at the room?
226
00:12:29,958 --> 00:12:31,292
Yeah, yeah.
227
00:12:38,508 --> 00:12:40,635
Check out these digs.
228
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:43,680
Hey, look, Tim,
the reason we got the junior suite upgrade
229
00:12:43,805 --> 00:12:45,348
is because the hotel overbooked.
230
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:49,269
The point being, they were asking folks
to take on a third roommate
231
00:12:49,352 --> 00:12:50,937
to consolidate space.
232
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:53,523
Now, to me,
the savings of adding a third guy
233
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:55,316
sounded like a real positive.
234
00:12:55,858 --> 00:12:57,610
If you got any qualms, I hear you.
235
00:12:57,986 --> 00:13:00,488
INC. That's "Loud and Clear."
236
00:13:01,364 --> 00:13:04,033
Who would share...
Who would share beds?
237
00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:06,661
That's a pull-out couch.
238
00:13:10,164 --> 00:13:11,207
(LAUGHS)
239
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:13,960
This isn't Woodstock, Tim.
240
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:16,504
I'm sure whoever it is
will be straight shooter.
241
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:20,049
Janita, double stock my mini bar, please.
242
00:13:20,174 --> 00:13:21,467
1019, thank you.
243
00:13:21,884 --> 00:13:24,053
Taco Bill, back in the saddle.
244
00:13:24,345 --> 00:13:26,723
Hey, Ned. Get some honey on your stinger?
245
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:27,890
I love it.
246
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:32,145
So far, it's just the one billboard
north of St. Cloud.
247
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:35,315
But at the end of the day, it's NTS.
248
00:13:35,398 --> 00:13:36,899
Not too shabby.
249
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:39,152
NTS. That's hilarious.
250
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,528
(HOWLING)
251
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:47,368
Ronald Wilkes, I presume. The Ronimal!
252
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:49,662
Give me some love, my soul brother!
253
00:13:49,746 --> 00:13:51,873
Turn down the volume, Ziegler.
You just got here.
254
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:53,249
What's the matter, friend?
255
00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:55,418
You've never seen
a choco-vanilla love sandwich before?
256
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:57,253
- Wait till we start the butt fucking.
- No.
257
00:13:57,378 --> 00:13:58,504
(ZIEGLER LAUGHS)
258
00:13:58,588 --> 00:13:59,756
I'm just having fun.
259
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,759
Dean Ziegler, Stevens Point, Wisconsin.
Call me Deanzie.
260
00:14:03,718 --> 00:14:06,596
Tim Lippe, from Brown Valley, Wisconsin.
BrownStar Insurance.
261
00:14:06,721 --> 00:14:09,515
Oh, sure, yeah. Bill Krogstad's joint right?
262
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:10,767
The Kroger!
263
00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:11,934
That's what I call him.
264
00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,896
Oh, shit.
265
00:14:15,730 --> 00:14:18,399
I was so sorry
to hear about Lemke's passing up there.
266
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:20,902
That's guy was tits as a rep.
267
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:24,906
Yeah. Well, Roger was just
a super great man.
268
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:28,117
Amen on that. Yeah.
269
00:14:28,910 --> 00:14:30,078
Real tragedy.
270
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,625
Well, I don't know about you wing-nuts,
271
00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,960
but the Deanzie could use a drinksy.
272
00:14:38,086 --> 00:14:40,963
What do you say we head
straight to Horizons for happy hour?
273
00:14:41,047 --> 00:14:43,966
You get two-for-one drinks,
ten-cent wings,
274
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:46,302
all-you-care-to-eat pussy buffet.
275
00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:48,388
That line was unappealing last year, Dean.
276
00:14:48,471 --> 00:14:49,555
It remains so now.
277
00:14:49,639 --> 00:14:50,765
Ronimal!
278
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,934
I'm gonna watch President Helgesson's
opening remarks.
279
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:54,977
Oh, God. That smug fuck.
280
00:14:55,812 --> 00:14:58,147
Helgesson's trying to turn ASMI
into a goddamn religion
281
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,149
with all this God and morality bullshit.
282
00:15:01,442 --> 00:15:03,486
All right, you ladies stay here
and do your nails.
283
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:06,489
But I'm going to Horizon's
where the action is, all right?
284
00:15:09,909 --> 00:15:11,661
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
285
00:15:15,832 --> 00:15:17,583
I'm Orin Helgesson,
286
00:15:17,667 --> 00:15:21,421
your A SM!
Midwest Region Chapter President.
287
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:25,466
If you haven't picked up
your welcome kits yet, see Mike Pyle.
288
00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:26,843
RONALD: Mike Pyle.
289
00:15:26,968 --> 00:15:30,471
He owns the sixth largest Allstate agency
in the upper Midwest.
290
00:15:30,972 --> 00:15:32,181
The guy's a shark.
291
00:15:32,348 --> 00:15:34,600
I'm more worried about this Ziegler guy.
292
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,854
I was specifically warned
to stay away from him.
293
00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:40,273
Don't worry about him. He's harmless.
294
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:45,194
I'd like to talk Two Diamonds
for a minute here.
295
00:15:45,486 --> 00:15:48,030
The Two Diamond
Certificate of Excellence
296
00:15:48,156 --> 00:15:49,782
is awarded every year
297
00:15:49,866 --> 00:15:53,619
to the agency
that best exemplifies the ASMI decree
298
00:15:53,995 --> 00:15:57,039
"to provide high quality insurance,
299
00:15:57,123 --> 00:16:01,002
"while maintaining commitment
to community, country and God."
300
00:16:01,294 --> 00:16:03,379
We have a record number of entries
this year.
301
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,214
Over 50 agencies. So...
302
00:16:05,298 --> 00:16:07,049
Did he say 50 agencies?
303
00:16:07,717 --> 00:16:10,052
Yeah, it's gonna be brutal this year.
304
00:16:10,178 --> 00:16:11,471
(EXHALES)
305
00:16:12,305 --> 00:16:16,142
Hey, come on. You're gonna do fine. Relax.
306
00:16:18,686 --> 00:16:19,729
Thanks.
307
00:16:20,021 --> 00:16:23,733
- Hey, baby girl.
- MACY: Hey, Tim. How's it going?
308
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:25,026
I'm in over my head.
309
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:29,030
You'll do fine.
I'm putting you on speaker, sweetie.
310
00:16:29,238 --> 00:16:31,157
I just really wish you had come with me.
311
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:34,660
Oh, no. This is your thing.
You'll do a good job.
312
00:16:34,744 --> 00:16:36,662
Well, I gotta run in a sec.
313
00:16:36,746 --> 00:16:39,832
I'm meeting some folks for fish
at the Eagles.
314
00:16:39,916 --> 00:16:41,334
I really miss you.
315
00:16:41,751 --> 00:16:44,587
- You'll do fine.
- Thank you. I'll try.
316
00:16:44,879 --> 00:16:46,506
I really miss you.
317
00:16:46,714 --> 00:16:47,924
Okay, bye, honey-
318
00:16:48,257 --> 00:16:49,759
I'll dream of you in my heart.
319
00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:13,533
You were checking me out.
320
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:14,909
What?
321
00:17:15,785 --> 00:17:18,120
I'm gonna have to tell the hotel
there's some pervo in fitness center
322
00:17:18,246 --> 00:17:19,247
hitting on innocent women.
323
00:17:19,330 --> 00:17:20,748
What? Whoa! No.
324
00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,293
I wasn't doing that.
325
00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,087
I'm, like, pre-engaged with somebody.
326
00:17:26,170 --> 00:17:27,463
Unbelievable.
327
00:17:27,588 --> 00:17:28,965
That poor woman should know
what you're up to.
328
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:32,134
I'm not up to anything. I swear, I'm not...
329
00:17:32,635 --> 00:17:33,678
Oh, man.
330
00:17:33,803 --> 00:17:35,012
(LAUGHING)
331
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:38,015
I'm totally messing with you.
332
00:17:38,140 --> 00:17:40,268
I'm sorry. Oh, my God, I'm such a jerk.
333
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,812
(CHUCKLES) Okay, yeah.
334
00:17:42,979 --> 00:17:44,146
Well, that's different.
335
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:47,817
I'm so sorry. Joan Ostrowski-Fox.
336
00:17:49,151 --> 00:17:50,444
- Hi.
- Hi.
337
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:52,446
- Tim Lippe.
- Hi, Mr. Lippe.
338
00:17:52,530 --> 00:17:54,407
I'm in town for the ASMI convention.
339
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:57,285
I'm here for ASMI, too.
I'm from "Oh, my God," Nebraska.
340
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:58,828
- Omaha.
- Yeah.
341
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:03,332
Well, I'm gross,
so I will bid you a farewell, Mr. Lippe.
342
00:18:03,499 --> 00:18:05,001
- Okay.
- See you at Horizon's tonight?
343
00:18:05,293 --> 00:18:07,378
Yeah, I don't... Well, maybe.
344
00:18:07,837 --> 00:18:09,547
A girl can dream.
345
00:18:20,516 --> 00:18:22,393
- How are you doing?
- Good.
346
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:24,061
Um...
347
00:18:24,353 --> 00:18:26,480
I really enjoyed your speech,
President Helgesson.
348
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:29,150
Oh. You were in there. Marvelous.
349
00:18:29,567 --> 00:18:31,527
I don't think we've met.
350
00:18:32,737 --> 00:18:34,113
Tim Lippe.
351
00:18:34,196 --> 00:18:36,240
Down from Brown Valley, Wisconsin,
BrownStar Insurance.
352
00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:41,829
Oh, boy. Tim, I don't know what to say.
I'm just...
353
00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:44,165
We're all feeling it.
354
00:18:44,665 --> 00:18:46,834
I'm so sorry for the loss.
355
00:18:47,168 --> 00:18:49,337
Yeah, it's been really hard.
356
00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:52,214
Come here, son. Come here.
357
00:18:59,013 --> 00:19:01,724
Now, Tim, let me give you
358
00:19:02,725 --> 00:19:06,270
a few extra drink coupons for Horizon's.
359
00:19:06,896 --> 00:19:10,816
You go down there and fellowship
and network with your colleagues. Huh?
360
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:12,610
Thank you, President Helgesson.
361
00:19:12,735 --> 00:19:14,445
No, please. Orin.
362
00:19:23,579 --> 00:19:25,915
Hey, Bree isn't it?
363
00:19:26,248 --> 00:19:28,584
- Yeah, the butterscotch dude right?
- Yeah.
364
00:19:28,918 --> 00:19:31,921
That's me, Captain Butterscotch.
You guys want some?
365
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:34,090
Yeah.
366
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,094
Tim Lippe, BrownStar Insurance.
367
00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,096
Glen Lindstrom. Lindy.
368
00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,140
Lindy Lindstrom. Excellent to meet you.
369
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:45,309
What are you guys up to?
370
00:19:54,944 --> 00:19:56,070
Timbo!
371
00:19:56,278 --> 00:19:57,321
Right here, roomie.
372
00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,240
Party headquarters, right here.
373
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,617
- How's it going, Tim?
- Hi, Ronald.
374
00:20:01,784 --> 00:20:03,911
- Dean'?
- Come on. Ca“ me Deanne.
375
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:06,455
- What can I get you?
- Do you have root beer?
376
00:20:06,956 --> 00:20:08,124
You want a nipple on that?
377
00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:10,251
Ha-ha. No.
378
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:13,504
The sooner you learn to ignore this
degenerate, Tim, the better off you'll be.
379
00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:15,798
Degenerate! I love it! That's me!
380
00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:18,259
Okay, Big Time Tim,
381
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:22,471
what exactly are you looking for,
pussy-wise, in Cedar Crapids?
382
00:20:23,472 --> 00:20:25,641
Nothing, actually.
383
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:29,645
What? Why are you showing me
a picture of your mom?
384
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,689
She's hot. No offense.
385
00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:33,441
She's not my mom. Okay?
386
00:20:33,524 --> 00:20:35,818
She's my girlfriend,
and we're basically pre-engaged.
387
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:38,154
Whoa, whoa. My bad.
Beautiful woman, in any case.
388
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:40,531
Wait a minute, what's "pre-engaged"?
389
00:20:40,656 --> 00:20:42,867
'Cause if I was "pre-engaged,"
390
00:20:42,992 --> 00:20:45,828
I will be pre-porking anything with a pulse.
391
00:20:45,995 --> 00:20:48,622
Where's your moral compass, Ziegler?
You're married yourself.
392
00:20:48,706 --> 00:20:51,292
Was married, Ronald. Was.
393
00:20:51,375 --> 00:20:53,836
Oh, jeez, you and Patti split up?
394
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,171
Oh, I'm sorry.
395
00:20:56,172 --> 00:21:01,343
She's an asshole. Ass-fucking-hole.
396
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:05,222
Seventeen years of marriage,
straight down the shitter.
397
00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:09,143
Lucky if one of them was decent.
398
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:15,065
What was I talking about?
Who wants to get wasted!
399
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,233
Choc-chem!
400
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,570
JOAN: Hubba-hubba, check out those studs!
401
00:21:20,321 --> 00:21:22,031
- Whoo!
- Joan Ostrowski-Fox.
402
00:21:22,198 --> 00:21:25,367
Oh, Ron Ronald, you look Rontastic.
403
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:27,328
This one. Oh, I could just
404
00:21:27,411 --> 00:21:29,205
squeeze you to death,
you little firecracker!
405
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:31,499
How are you sweetheart?
406
00:21:31,582 --> 00:21:33,042
Oh, so good.
407
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:36,670
Oh, Lippe. My lippies are sealed.
408
00:21:36,837 --> 00:21:38,339
You know this guy?
409
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:40,800
Oh, that's right. From the fitness center.
410
00:21:40,883 --> 00:21:44,303
Yeah. I was really naughty with you
down there. I'm really sorry, Tim.
411
00:21:44,386 --> 00:21:46,180
- Oh, no. She's not.
- Oh, no. I'm not.
412
00:21:46,263 --> 00:21:47,306
(LAUGHS)
413
00:21:47,389 --> 00:21:48,933
Shots. Let's do it. What do you want guys?
414
00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:50,059
- Jéger time.
- Jéger for me.
415
00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:52,228
Twist my arm. Drambuie.
416
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:53,813
- JOAN: Lippe?
- I'm a non-drinker.
417
00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:54,939
Oh, that's a bummer.
418
00:21:55,064 --> 00:21:56,982
Timbo, you gotta strap on a set of gords.
419
00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,108
- JOAN: Yeah.
- All right?
420
00:21:58,234 --> 00:21:59,568
Come on, one won't kill you.
421
00:22:00,402 --> 00:22:01,946
Jeez, okay.
422
00:22:02,363 --> 00:22:04,907
If you guys are gonna beat me up...
423
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:07,785
Cream sherry.
424
00:22:07,910 --> 00:22:10,120
Cream sherry? You're insane.
425
00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:11,288
(LAUGHING)
426
00:22:11,413 --> 00:22:13,165
That's the craziest thing I've ever heard.
427
00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:14,917
This one's weird.
428
00:22:15,084 --> 00:22:16,293
ZIEGLER: Ready? Here we go.
429
00:22:16,627 --> 00:22:17,920
(COUNTING IN GERMAN)
430
00:22:18,045 --> 00:22:19,463
In your hole!
431
00:22:21,799 --> 00:22:23,133
(WHOOPING)
432
00:22:24,093 --> 00:22:25,427
You be careful not to get
too loaded there, Lippe.
433
00:22:25,553 --> 00:22:27,096
I might have to take advantage of you.
434
00:22:27,930 --> 00:22:29,682
Hey. Excuse me.
435
00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:31,058
Come on, I'm just razzing.
436
00:22:31,141 --> 00:22:32,268
Cut it out!
437
00:22:34,770 --> 00:22:35,938
You know what? It's been a long day.
438
00:22:36,063 --> 00:22:38,774
- Oh, come on, Timbo. Relax.
- Come on, I didn't mean anything by it.
439
00:22:39,275 --> 00:22:40,568
Good night.
440
00:22:45,281 --> 00:22:47,491
You can squeeze my ass, Joan.
441
00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:48,951
Ouch!
442
00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:11,098
The government currently subsidizes
$935 million worth of insurance policies...
443
00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:15,311
- I'm in here! I'm in here...
- I know, I know. This needs to be private.
444
00:23:16,478 --> 00:23:17,771
Listen...
445
00:23:19,148 --> 00:23:20,274
Whoa!
446
00:23:20,649 --> 00:23:22,693
Something really didn't
agree with you, huh?
447
00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:25,446
Yeah, I had... I think it was tainted yogurt.
448
00:23:26,363 --> 00:23:29,909
Listen, meet me in the stair... (EXHALES)
449
00:23:29,992 --> 00:23:32,745
Meet me in the stairwell in five minutes.
All right?
450
00:23:32,828 --> 00:23:34,747
Pinch it off, it's important.
451
00:23:34,830 --> 00:23:36,165
Jesus Christ.
452
00:23:36,290 --> 00:23:37,499
(COUGHS)
453
00:23:40,794 --> 00:23:41,921
Psst!
454
00:23:42,004 --> 00:23:43,464
(SOFTLY) Timbo.
455
00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:49,845
We gotta talk.
456
00:23:50,179 --> 00:23:51,680
What? What is going on?
457
00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:55,309
After you left,
I found out some serious shit.
458
00:23:55,851 --> 00:23:58,187
There is a petition going around
459
00:23:59,063 --> 00:24:02,066
trying to take away
your company's Two Diamond Awards.
460
00:24:02,191 --> 00:24:03,275
What?
461
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:08,405
They're saying Lemke's sexual peccadilloes
were not godly,
462
00:24:08,530 --> 00:24:09,907
quote unquote.
463
00:24:10,032 --> 00:24:11,951
Somebody passed it to me, and I'm like,
464
00:24:12,034 --> 00:24:14,536
"Look, Lemke might have been
a class-A deviant,
465
00:24:14,662 --> 00:24:18,207
"but what the fuck does that have to do
with selling insurance?"
466
00:24:18,540 --> 00:24:22,252
Pardon my French, Dean,
but you are completely full of bullroar.
467
00:24:22,878 --> 00:24:25,923
My boss, Bill Krogstad, told me
that you called Joyce Armbruster
468
00:24:26,048 --> 00:24:28,300
-and smeared Roger's name.
- No, no.
469
00:24:28,384 --> 00:24:32,304
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Timbo.
That old whore called me.
470
00:24:32,554 --> 00:24:35,265
She's going on about
how Lemke's a pervert
471
00:24:35,391 --> 00:24:37,309
and she wanted
to take her business elsewhere.
472
00:24:37,726 --> 00:24:40,229
So I says, "All right,
I'll crunch some numbers for you."
473
00:24:40,562 --> 00:24:44,149
Well, she calls me back
later that same day
474
00:24:44,233 --> 00:24:47,987
saying how she got
Krogstad to lower her premiums,
475
00:24:48,070 --> 00:24:51,740
which is exactly what the greasy twat
wanted in the first place.
476
00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:54,284
So, you didn't call her?
477
00:24:56,161 --> 00:24:57,246
Tim.
478
00:25:00,582 --> 00:25:04,169
Look, I might be a lot of things,
479
00:25:05,087 --> 00:25:07,673
but a poacher ain't one of them.
480
00:25:09,258 --> 00:25:11,093
And I'm proud of that.
481
00:25:14,430 --> 00:25:15,931
You saw this petition?
482
00:25:16,181 --> 00:25:19,518
Yeah, I saw it. I didn't sign it.
483
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:21,937
I said, "You guys are pussies."
484
00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:24,481
This is terrible.
485
00:25:25,024 --> 00:25:27,192
'Cause the way that Roger died
was an accident.
486
00:25:27,276 --> 00:25:30,863
Look, Lemke could have died
cornholing a crippled kid for all I care.
487
00:25:32,656 --> 00:25:34,074
Not really, of course.
488
00:25:34,158 --> 00:25:36,452
My sister's got one. Down's.
489
00:25:37,036 --> 00:25:38,120
Sad.
490
00:25:39,038 --> 00:25:42,249
Point being,
selling insurance is a business.
491
00:25:42,332 --> 00:25:44,460
It's not a goddamn Boy Scout troop.
492
00:25:45,461 --> 00:25:48,964
So there's the scuttlebutt.
Deal with it the way you want.
493
00:25:51,842 --> 00:25:53,469
(RONALD SNORING)
494
00:26:10,861 --> 00:26:12,154
(ZIEGLER SIGHS)
495
00:26:17,076 --> 00:26:17,158
And we thank you, Lord.
496
00:26:17,159 --> 00:26:19,078
And we thank you, Lord.
497
00:26:19,244 --> 00:26:25,667
We are grateful for the bounty
you provide us this breakfast time.
498
00:26:25,834 --> 00:26:27,336
I am so hung over right now.
499
00:26:27,419 --> 00:26:29,838
The variety and the volume...
500
00:26:30,005 --> 00:26:32,007
Big time beer shits this morning.
501
00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:36,386
...Lord Jesus, our truth. Amen.
502
00:26:36,845 --> 00:26:38,680
Amen. Say that again.
503
00:26:39,181 --> 00:26:41,350
I thought Pyle did a nice job, Ziegler.
504
00:26:42,059 --> 00:26:43,102
What's wrong with you, Timbo?
505
00:26:43,185 --> 00:26:44,394
You're like a gloomy Gus this morning.
506
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:45,854
Come on, leave him alone.
507
00:26:45,938 --> 00:26:47,731
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
508
00:26:48,190 --> 00:26:50,192
If it's my ex-wife, I'm not here.
509
00:26:50,859 --> 00:26:52,236
I'm pretty sure it's not your ex-wife.
510
00:26:52,361 --> 00:26:53,737
It's my boss. I have to take this.
511
00:26:53,862 --> 00:26:55,447
Tell The Kroger I said, "Hey."
512
00:26:59,368 --> 00:27:00,494
- Hello.
- BILL: Tim.
513
00:27:00,577 --> 00:27:02,329
I got a call from Orin Helgesson.
514
00:27:02,412 --> 00:27:04,665
He tells me he's worried about you.
515
00:27:04,748 --> 00:27:08,168
Tells me you're palling
around with Dean Ziegler.
516
00:27:08,252 --> 00:27:10,379
Laughing at his jokes, buying him drinks.
517
00:27:10,462 --> 00:27:14,007
- No, Bill. That's...
- What's the one thing?
518
00:27:14,091 --> 00:27:16,885
I said, "Steer clear of Dean Ziegler."
519
00:27:16,969 --> 00:27:18,262
Bill, that Dean Ziegler...
520
00:27:18,387 --> 00:27:20,973
No, it is Orin's sworn enemy.
521
00:27:21,390 --> 00:27:23,600
He told me that there is
a petition going around
522
00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:25,561
to take away our Two Diamond Awards.
523
00:27:25,644 --> 00:27:28,063
What? All right,
who the Christ signed that, huh?
524
00:27:28,147 --> 00:27:30,399
Who the Christ signed that? God damn it.
525
00:27:30,482 --> 00:27:32,484
God damn it. God damn it!
526
00:27:32,568 --> 00:27:34,486
Bill, I'll handle it. You can count on me.
527
00:27:34,570 --> 00:27:37,406
You just worry about your
goddamn presentation tomorrow, Tim,
528
00:27:37,489 --> 00:27:38,824
and stop fucking around!
529
00:27:38,907 --> 00:27:41,618
- I'll handle it.
- You take care of it, Lippe.
530
00:27:47,124 --> 00:27:49,418
I swear, I only smoke in Cedar Rapids.
531
00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:54,339
Jeez, what's wrong?
532
00:27:55,299 --> 00:27:56,967
I don't know, like, everything.
533
00:27:58,552 --> 00:28:01,597
So how did you get involved
in the insurance game, Lippe?
534
00:28:02,139 --> 00:28:04,641
Oh, God. "insurance game."
535
00:28:05,475 --> 00:28:08,687
Look here, see, how did you
get involved in the insurance game?
536
00:28:09,813 --> 00:28:11,523
You're freaky.
537
00:28:12,065 --> 00:28:13,233
Thank you.
538
00:28:13,317 --> 00:28:14,359
(BOTH LAUGH)
539
00:28:15,986 --> 00:28:18,197
It's kind of a weird story, actually.
540
00:28:19,907 --> 00:28:23,452
I lost my dad in a sawmill accident
when I was six years old.
541
00:28:23,702 --> 00:28:25,495
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
542
00:28:25,996 --> 00:28:28,957
But the insurance agent
fought like a tiger with the sawmill
543
00:28:29,041 --> 00:28:31,752
to make sure my mom and I
were taken care of, and we were.
544
00:28:32,502 --> 00:28:34,922
And I remember thinking, when I was kid,
545
00:28:35,005 --> 00:28:37,174
I was just like, "This guy is a hero."
546
00:28:38,967 --> 00:28:42,888
I gotta say, I think insurance agents
get a bum rap.
547
00:28:44,306 --> 00:28:45,349
You know?
548
00:28:45,974 --> 00:28:49,102
Like this river, the Cedar River, flooded
a couple of years ago.
549
00:28:49,186 --> 00:28:50,771
- A whole city.
- I know. I remember.
550
00:28:50,854 --> 00:28:52,272
It was a massive disaster.
551
00:28:52,397 --> 00:28:55,234
Massive disaster,
billions of dollars in damage,
552
00:28:55,317 --> 00:29:00,989
and who do you think was in the trenches
trying to get people's lives back in order?
553
00:29:01,865 --> 00:29:03,784
It was insurance agents.
554
00:29:04,701 --> 00:29:07,996
Not all of them,
but a lot of them worked really hard
555
00:29:08,080 --> 00:29:10,082
to get people's lives back on track.
556
00:29:12,209 --> 00:29:16,255
Do you realize you just made it sound cool
to be an insurance salesman?
557
00:29:17,422 --> 00:29:20,050
You are a hero, Lippe.
558
00:29:21,134 --> 00:29:22,678
(CHUCKLES) Shut up.
559
00:29:23,553 --> 00:29:25,931
- Come on, we should get back.
- No, loan tell.
560
00:29:26,139 --> 00:29:27,849
You're the Superman type.
561
00:29:27,933 --> 00:29:30,936
Kind of dweeby on the outside
but a real frigging stud underneath.
562
00:29:31,019 --> 00:29:32,813
Yeah, dweeby, okay.
563
00:29:33,438 --> 00:29:37,651
They call you Insurance Man
and put a big red "I" on your chest.
564
00:29:37,734 --> 00:29:39,152
Cool.
565
00:29:39,236 --> 00:29:43,657
Well, even if you are totally full of it,
which you clearly are,
566
00:29:43,740 --> 00:29:45,993
it's still a nice thing to say,
and I appreciate it.
567
00:29:46,076 --> 00:29:47,244
You're welcome.
568
00:29:49,079 --> 00:29:53,583
For crying out loud, Dean,
you say the same thing every year!
569
00:29:53,667 --> 00:29:55,752
Because you think you're the Pope, Orin.
570
00:29:55,919 --> 00:29:57,129
And you're not the fucking Pope.
571
00:29:57,462 --> 00:29:59,298
And ASMI is not a church.
572
00:29:59,381 --> 00:30:02,134
There is a separation
between religion and insurance.
573
00:30:02,217 --> 00:30:03,302
It's in the constitution.
574
00:30:03,385 --> 00:30:04,511
Oh, good grief.
575
00:30:04,594 --> 00:30:06,471
You gotta admire Ziegler's style of debate.
576
00:30:07,097 --> 00:30:09,725
- Volume, proximity and repetition.
- Yeah.
577
00:30:09,808 --> 00:30:10,892
(LAUGHING)
578
00:30:10,976 --> 00:30:13,186
I'm doing something right. Timbo!
579
00:30:13,478 --> 00:30:15,897
And O-Fox. Where have you two been?
580
00:30:15,981 --> 00:30:18,650
What is that?
You got a pube on your cheek, Timbo.
581
00:30:18,734 --> 00:30:20,777
- Oh, Jesus, Ziegler.
- Uncool.
582
00:30:20,861 --> 00:30:22,946
Eating the canned tuna
from the bottom shelf.
583
00:30:23,030 --> 00:30:24,114
I love it! (LAUGHS)
584
00:30:24,656 --> 00:30:26,074
Guys, I gotta boogie.
585
00:30:26,491 --> 00:30:27,993
I'll see you later at the scavenger hunt.
586
00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:29,911
- JOAN: Bye-bye.
- Aye aye, your holiness.
587
00:30:31,163 --> 00:30:34,458
Borin' Orin. Just joshing.
588
00:30:35,083 --> 00:30:36,168
Not.
589
00:30:36,835 --> 00:30:38,628
No, I'm really joshing. Not!
590
00:30:39,588 --> 00:30:41,173
Oh, got him twice.
591
00:30:41,423 --> 00:30:43,008
- What's the scavenger hunt?
- JOAN: Oh!
592
00:30:43,633 --> 00:30:45,177
You are about to find out,
593
00:30:45,260 --> 00:30:48,013
'cause I just signed up
you and O-Fox on the same team.
594
00:30:48,096 --> 00:30:49,348
Oh, yeah? Right on!
595
00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:51,141
I shouldn't.
596
00:30:51,224 --> 00:30:53,435
Tim, I promise I won't molest you.
597
00:30:54,478 --> 00:30:55,562
Yet. (CHUCKLES)
598
00:30:55,645 --> 00:30:57,731
No, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.
Come on, it'll be fun.
599
00:30:57,814 --> 00:30:58,899
Everyone's doing it.
600
00:30:59,358 --> 00:31:04,529
Okay, folks, the ASMI-Azing Race
is just like The Amazing Race on
601
00:31:04,613 --> 00:31:05,655
(COUGHS) No, it's not.
602
00:31:05,739 --> 00:31:08,158
...except that instead of $1 million,
603
00:31:08,241 --> 00:31:10,118
the winning teams gets
604
00:31:10,202 --> 00:31:13,955
a $45 gift card
to the Kiku Japanese restaurant
605
00:31:14,039 --> 00:31:15,499
in the Westdale Mall.
606
00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:19,461
So, look for your first clue
607
00:31:19,753 --> 00:31:21,505
under the sea.
608
00:31:23,090 --> 00:31:26,760
And by that I mean in the pool area.
609
00:31:26,843 --> 00:31:28,053
(WOMAN WHOOPING)
610
00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:30,472
ZIEGLER: Don't get in the way.
611
00:31:30,555 --> 00:31:31,598
TIM: No brakes!
612
00:31:32,140 --> 00:31:33,392
No brakes. Coming through.
613
00:31:34,768 --> 00:31:36,770
Bricks? What the hell is this?
614
00:31:36,853 --> 00:31:38,939
ZIEGLER: It's a word scramble,
you dumb fucks.
615
00:31:39,022 --> 00:31:41,358
Raff. ..raff. Riff...
616
00:31:41,942 --> 00:31:43,819
- Moff.
- Two letters.
617
00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:46,571
Two more letters. Mo... Moffarts.
618
00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:52,035
I know what it is. Fun Farm!
619
00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:55,580
Yeah, be cool. Be cool.
620
00:31:57,290 --> 00:31:58,917
Golly, I really need to pee.
621
00:31:59,000 --> 00:32:01,753
I told you to go before we started,
you idiot.
622
00:32:01,837 --> 00:32:02,879
Sorry.
623
00:32:02,963 --> 00:32:04,131
Queef.
624
00:32:04,256 --> 00:32:06,925
- No Q.
- No Q, son of a bitch.
625
00:32:08,468 --> 00:32:10,303
(CHUCKLING EXCITEDLY)
626
00:32:16,268 --> 00:32:18,270
Hey, Bree. We're in first place!
627
00:32:18,937 --> 00:32:20,564
Good luck, butterscotch.
628
00:32:20,814 --> 00:32:23,358
JOAN: Okay, you're gonna make
a right on Wilson.
629
00:32:23,567 --> 00:32:24,901
TIM: No, that doesn't make any sense.
630
00:32:25,110 --> 00:32:29,030
- You're gonna... What? Oops!
- I'm gonna make a left on Wilson.
631
00:32:29,448 --> 00:32:32,617
North is north. South is south.
It's not complicated.
632
00:32:32,701 --> 00:32:34,286
Never Eat Shredded Wheat.
633
00:32:34,744 --> 00:32:36,997
- Just remembered.
- I never heard that one before.
634
00:32:37,080 --> 00:32:39,749
Yeah, which is ironic
because Shredded Wheat is delicious.
635
00:32:40,083 --> 00:32:41,501
Where are they?
636
00:32:41,793 --> 00:32:43,044
All right, Perry. Eyes on me.
637
00:32:43,128 --> 00:32:44,629
What are you doing here?
You want me to throw you in?
638
00:32:44,713 --> 00:32:46,673
- Balls deep, man. Go!
- Yeah! Go!
639
00:32:46,756 --> 00:32:47,841
All right. What do I got to do?
640
00:32:47,924 --> 00:32:49,468
You have to find a red ball
for your next clue.
641
00:32:49,551 --> 00:32:51,553
I'll give you 40 bucks for the clue
straight out.
642
00:32:51,636 --> 00:32:53,638
- Ziegler! Now! Go!
- All right, let's do it!
643
00:32:53,763 --> 00:32:55,932
Look out, Timbo, I'm going balls deep.
644
00:32:56,266 --> 00:32:57,559
(YELLING)
645
00:32:57,976 --> 00:32:59,978
(EXCLAIMS) I got it!
646
00:33:00,312 --> 00:33:01,438
Yes!
647
00:33:04,399 --> 00:33:08,570
Fill this thing. I'm gonna win.
Fill it. Fill it. Fill it. Come on.
648
00:33:08,820 --> 00:33:12,240
Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Go! Go!
Eat the next one.
649
00:33:12,324 --> 00:33:13,450
Oh, my God. I'm gonna puke.
650
00:33:13,533 --> 00:33:15,076
No, you're doing great,
651
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,704
and, by the way, you look really good
with a Wiener in your mouth.
652
00:33:20,373 --> 00:33:21,958
Did you just make a dick joke?
653
00:33:22,042 --> 00:33:24,586
No. Maybe.
654
00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:27,839
- I love it!
- Okay, just go! Go! Go! Go!
655
00:33:28,590 --> 00:33:30,717
Look at him.
He's like a little spider monkey.
656
00:33:32,802 --> 00:33:35,263
Ha-ha! Leaving them in the dust.
657
00:33:35,597 --> 00:33:37,140
You're almost there, bud.
658
00:33:37,807 --> 00:33:39,392
- Reach it!
- ZIEGLER: Timbo.
659
00:33:39,476 --> 00:33:40,769
You got a death wish pal?
660
00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:44,731
'Cause you're about
roughly 20 feet off the ground right now.
661
00:33:44,814 --> 00:33:46,233
Take a look.
662
00:33:53,657 --> 00:33:55,200
Uh-oh. Tim?
663
00:33:56,201 --> 00:33:57,786
Oh, God. Tim, are you okay?
664
00:33:57,869 --> 00:33:59,162
Give me a second.
665
00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:06,503
What do you... Tim, come on down.
We got you, buddy!
666
00:34:07,879 --> 00:34:09,422
I'm gonna be fine!
667
00:34:09,714 --> 00:34:10,799
I think we better get him.
668
00:34:10,882 --> 00:34:12,634
- ZIEGLER: Oh, my God.
- Oh, yeah.
669
00:34:12,926 --> 00:34:14,844
Why did you do it if you're gonna freak out?
670
00:34:18,265 --> 00:34:20,392
Tim, I got you, trust me.
671
00:34:20,475 --> 00:34:22,227
Just give me your hand, bro, lean back.
672
00:34:22,352 --> 00:34:24,354
I don't trust people with pony tails.
673
00:34:24,980 --> 00:34:26,314
Come on, man, give me your hand.
Let's do this.
674
00:34:26,398 --> 00:34:28,066
I'm not extreme like you.
675
00:34:29,317 --> 00:34:30,694
(SCREAMING)
676
00:34:30,777 --> 00:34:32,362
Oh, Tim. Tim!
677
00:34:32,445 --> 00:34:33,905
- Oh, my God.
- JOAN: Calm down.
678
00:34:34,322 --> 00:34:36,157
(CONTINUES SCREAMING)
679
00:34:37,242 --> 00:34:38,618
- Hold on. Hold on to this.
- JOAN: I got you, buddy.
680
00:34:38,785 --> 00:34:40,662
Guys, just lower him down. I got it.
681
00:34:40,912 --> 00:34:43,498
Come on down to me.
Come on down. I got you, pal.
682
00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:45,250
- Relax. Relax.
- JOAN: Okay. Okay.
683
00:34:47,419 --> 00:34:48,503
We 9°'! you. We got you.
684
00:34:49,004 --> 00:34:51,673
Come on, folks. I just saved a life here.
685
00:34:51,756 --> 00:34:52,924
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
686
00:34:53,008 --> 00:34:54,676
Just saved a life here.
687
00:34:55,844 --> 00:34:58,680
So since no one
could complete the final task,
688
00:34:58,805 --> 00:35:03,435
and since Tim was higher than anyone else
when all this brouhaha occurred,
689
00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:08,023
we're going to award the gift card
to Tim and Joan.
690
00:35:08,106 --> 00:35:09,274
(EXCLAIMING)
691
00:35:09,357 --> 00:35:12,277
- We won!
- Nice. I love it. I love it.
692
00:35:12,861 --> 00:35:15,280
TIM: (SINGING) We won
We won the scavenger hunt
693
00:35:15,363 --> 00:35:16,698
We won
We won
694
00:35:17,198 --> 00:35:18,199
JOAN: Mmm.
695
00:35:20,702 --> 00:35:22,329
We won today.
696
00:35:23,038 --> 00:35:25,040
- WAITER: Well, congratulations.
- Thank you.
697
00:35:25,123 --> 00:35:26,708
And I found you a cream sherry.
698
00:35:27,542 --> 00:35:28,668
To dorks.
699
00:35:30,003 --> 00:35:31,880
- Okay. Cheers.
- Cheers.
700
00:35:32,047 --> 00:35:34,299
- It's a compliment.
- Mmm.
701
00:35:36,009 --> 00:35:37,552
Oh, smooth.
702
00:35:38,219 --> 00:35:40,722
- Tim Lippe, I am trying to figure you out.
- Oh, boy.
703
00:35:40,847 --> 00:35:42,724
I mean, hopes, dreams, aspirations.
704
00:35:42,807 --> 00:35:44,684
- What do you got?
- Um...
705
00:35:46,061 --> 00:35:48,813
What I really would love someday,
706
00:35:48,897 --> 00:35:53,234
is to put a little greenhouse
in my backyard.
707
00:35:53,318 --> 00:35:54,736
Okay, dream the impossible dream.
708
00:35:54,861 --> 00:35:56,905
Actually, it's far more reasonable
than you think.
709
00:35:57,030 --> 00:35:58,073
Oh, please.
710
00:35:58,198 --> 00:35:59,491
- I checked some out at Fleet Farm.
- Enough.
711
00:35:59,574 --> 00:36:00,992
- They're portable.
- Stop it.
712
00:36:01,076 --> 00:36:02,077
And they won't break the bank.
713
00:36:03,203 --> 00:36:07,749
Wow, I'm talking, like, fantasy land. Okay?
714
00:36:09,042 --> 00:36:11,878
Like, what does Tim Lippe really want?
715
00:36:13,755 --> 00:36:15,507
- Come on!
- Okay, a family.
716
00:36:16,091 --> 00:36:17,258
Oh!
717
00:36:17,384 --> 00:36:19,678
You know, I wanna be a dad.
718
00:36:19,761 --> 00:36:22,430
So, kids, I guess, is what I really want.
719
00:36:22,889 --> 00:36:24,182
You want mine? (LAUGHS)
720
00:36:25,517 --> 00:36:26,851
Um... Well...
721
00:36:26,935 --> 00:36:29,521
Not like, you know...
722
00:36:30,605 --> 00:36:31,731
What?
723
00:36:31,940 --> 00:36:33,525
- I have kids.
- You have kids?
724
00:36:33,608 --> 00:36:34,943
Yeah, two.
725
00:36:35,235 --> 00:36:38,238
Tyler is 10.
Ashley will be eight next month.
726
00:36:39,572 --> 00:36:40,740
My little squirrels.
727
00:36:41,032 --> 00:36:44,119
- Oh, they are so cool.
- Aw, thanks.
728
00:36:44,619 --> 00:36:47,956
- And, that's...
- My hubby, Rich Fox. Richie.
729
00:36:48,081 --> 00:36:50,417
We met when we were
Rotary Exchange students in high school.
730
00:36:50,709 --> 00:36:52,210
Lived for a semester in Norway.
731
00:36:52,961 --> 00:36:54,921
- You've been to Norway?
- Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
732
00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:58,258
Then we got married
when we were sophomores in college,
733
00:36:58,466 --> 00:37:00,927
and then kids and...
734
00:37:01,302 --> 00:37:02,387
Wow.
735
00:37:03,096 --> 00:37:05,390
If I had to do it all again,
I don't know what I'd choose,
736
00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:08,268
but I don't have that option.
737
00:37:10,061 --> 00:37:11,980
So this is my fantasy land, Tim.
738
00:37:12,105 --> 00:37:15,608
You know, Cedar Rapids, ASMI. This.
739
00:37:18,069 --> 00:37:19,320
Sometimes a gal
just needs a little vacation
740
00:37:19,446 --> 00:37:22,449
from who she really is,
you know what I'm saying, Lippe?
741
00:37:27,328 --> 00:37:28,621
MAN: Yee-hah!
742
00:37:32,459 --> 00:37:33,585
This is pathetic.
743
00:37:36,004 --> 00:37:38,006
Hey, Mike! I'm bored of the dance.
744
00:37:38,173 --> 00:37:39,758
You love me, Deanzie.
745
00:37:43,011 --> 00:37:44,179
There you two are.
746
00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:46,848
Check out Lloyd.
He's going mental on the place.
747
00:37:47,098 --> 00:37:51,686
Oh, and you missed Mike Pyle doing
his Riverdance, hillbilly bullshit again.
748
00:37:51,811 --> 00:37:53,271
(LAUGHS) Drinks on me.
749
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:54,522
I like that.
750
00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:57,776
Timbo, have you tagged that yet?
751
00:37:57,859 --> 00:38:00,195
'Cause she's gotta be as moist
as a damp sponge.
752
00:38:00,320 --> 00:38:01,529
Ew, uh...
753
00:38:02,030 --> 00:38:04,282
No, she has a husband.
754
00:38:04,365 --> 00:38:06,242
- What is wrong with you, Ziegler?
- Shit.
755
00:38:06,409 --> 00:38:10,163
What isn't wrong with me?
I talk too much. I drink too much.
756
00:38:10,246 --> 00:38:12,874
I weigh too much. I piss people off.
757
00:38:13,041 --> 00:38:16,211
What's your situation, Ronald?
Are you married or...
758
00:38:16,336 --> 00:38:17,378
Negative.
759
00:38:17,504 --> 00:38:20,340
I'm pretty well married
to Ronald Wilkes Insurance.
760
00:38:20,715 --> 00:38:23,802
Course I have my guilty pleasures,
like antiquing.
761
00:38:23,885 --> 00:38:25,678
I'm active in community theater.
762
00:38:26,095 --> 00:38:27,972
And I have to admit, I'm a big enthusiast
763
00:38:28,056 --> 00:38:30,683
or the HBO program The Wire.
764
00:38:31,184 --> 00:38:34,395
But I haven't had
a proper vacation in nine years.
765
00:38:35,396 --> 00:38:38,358
Yeah, you know,
I never take my vacation, either.
766
00:38:38,441 --> 00:38:40,693
You know what you guys should do,
is take a vacation together.
767
00:38:40,777 --> 00:38:43,363
We can go on one of them
gay cruises with Rosie O'Donnell.
768
00:38:43,905 --> 00:38:45,532
You know what you are, Ziegler?
769
00:38:45,615 --> 00:38:47,242
You're what I call a real Richard.
770
00:38:47,742 --> 00:38:49,369
(RONALD LAUGHS)
771
00:38:50,203 --> 00:38:52,038
Mr. Richard Head.
772
00:38:53,248 --> 00:38:54,290
I don't get it.
773
00:38:54,624 --> 00:38:56,251
Dick Head, I get it. (LAUGHS)
774
00:38:56,376 --> 00:38:58,753
- You're a total Richard.
-It took me a second.
775
00:38:58,878 --> 00:39:00,922
All right, gents. Kamikazes.
776
00:39:01,297 --> 00:39:04,217
- One, two, three.
- Down your hole!
777
00:39:04,592 --> 00:39:07,136
WOMAN: Okay, time for
ASMI's next great talent.
778
00:39:07,971 --> 00:39:10,723
Tim Lip is going to sing a number for us.
779
00:39:11,057 --> 00:39:12,141
Is there a Tim Lip?
780
00:39:12,267 --> 00:39:13,643
Did she just say my name?
781
00:39:14,227 --> 00:39:15,937
(LAUGHS) Oh, I'm sorry.
782
00:39:16,062 --> 00:39:17,522
She signed you up.
783
00:39:17,605 --> 00:39:18,731
Tim Lip?
784
00:39:19,065 --> 00:39:20,108
Tim Lip?
785
00:39:21,442 --> 00:39:22,569
You can't do that.
786
00:39:23,152 --> 00:39:24,279
Ladies and gentlemen,
787
00:39:24,404 --> 00:39:26,197
I don't know if you know Tim Lippe here,
788
00:39:26,281 --> 00:39:27,532
it's "Lippe," by the way,
789
00:39:27,615 --> 00:39:30,618
he's down here, it's his first ASMI,
he's up for a Two Diamond Award.
790
00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:32,495
Let's give him a little support. Huh?
791
00:39:32,829 --> 00:39:33,955
MAN: Tim Lippe!
792
00:39:35,164 --> 00:39:38,459
- Tim! Tim! Tim!
- Tim! Tim! Tim!
793
00:39:39,419 --> 00:39:40,879
Go be my hero.
794
00:39:40,962 --> 00:39:44,799
- Tim! Tim! Tim!
- Tim! Tim! Tim!
795
00:39:48,011 --> 00:39:49,554
(ALL CHEERING)
796
00:39:49,637 --> 00:39:52,140
Get up there! Get up there!
797
00:40:07,488 --> 00:40:12,785
Okay, I'm gonna sing a song that I did
at our last Christmas party.
798
00:40:13,328 --> 00:40:14,495
Hope YOU enioY-
799
00:40:16,956 --> 00:40:19,542
(SINGING) on, holy night
800
00:40:19,667 --> 00:40:23,379
Costly premiums have them pining
801
00:40:23,671 --> 00:40:28,176
Term life robs them
Of all they are worth
802
00:40:28,676 --> 00:40:30,929
But there is hope
803
00:40:31,012 --> 00:40:34,390
Policy holders now have choices
804
00:40:34,515 --> 00:40:37,143
Behold an agency
805
00:40:37,226 --> 00:40:40,021
That won't leave you torn
806
00:40:40,146 --> 00:40:43,358
Home, auto
807
00:40:45,026 --> 00:40:48,404
Life insurance
808
00:40:50,865 --> 00:40:53,409
Brown Star
809
00:40:53,534 --> 00:40:56,579
Brown Star
810
00:40:57,038 --> 00:40:59,749
Brown Star Insurance
811
00:40:59,874 --> 00:41:03,753
Of Brown Valley, Wisconsin
812
00:41:05,213 --> 00:41:08,549
We are divine
813
00:41:10,885 --> 00:41:12,428
(ALL CHEERING)
814
00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:14,138
That was awesome!
815
00:41:14,222 --> 00:41:16,599
Ladies and gentlemen, Tim Lippe.
816
00:41:18,393 --> 00:41:19,686
Take that, Pyle!
817
00:41:21,604 --> 00:41:25,400
- Yes! Finally. Let's go. Yes, one more.
- Oh, God, no more shots.
818
00:41:25,566 --> 00:41:27,902
- No, I'm not having another.
- Yes, I don't even wanna hear it.
819
00:41:28,027 --> 00:41:30,279
ZIEGLER: One, two, three, down your hole!
820
00:41:33,074 --> 00:41:34,742
RONALD: One-on-ones with Orin
are tomorrow.
821
00:41:34,867 --> 00:41:37,328
I can't afford to be off my game.
Neither can you, Tim.
822
00:41:37,412 --> 00:41:38,746
(BOOING)
823
00:41:41,708 --> 00:41:44,210
- Ronimal!
- Sit down, Ronimal.
824
00:41:44,711 --> 00:41:47,463
You tied it in perfectly.
Auto, home, life, you got me!
825
00:41:47,588 --> 00:41:49,257
Yeah, that was great.
826
00:41:49,382 --> 00:41:51,342
Hold, on, hold on. I smell free booze.
827
00:41:51,426 --> 00:41:52,802
- No, no. Come on, come on.
- Dean.
828
00:41:52,927 --> 00:41:54,137
Come on, come on.
829
00:41:54,971 --> 00:41:56,180
(DANCE MUSIC PLAYING)
830
00:41:56,264 --> 00:41:58,307
Oh, my God.
831
00:41:58,599 --> 00:42:00,435
Rug munchers. I love it.
832
00:42:01,978 --> 00:42:04,814
- No way.
- Gay marriage is legal in Iowa.
833
00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,649
Come on, you guys.
This party sounds good.
834
00:42:09,777 --> 00:42:10,945
Wait. Let's go.
835
00:42:13,781 --> 00:42:15,533
You' re crazy, Deanne.
836
00:42:16,284 --> 00:42:17,368
I love it!
837
00:42:23,541 --> 00:42:25,293
Ronimal's on the dance floor!
838
00:42:28,463 --> 00:42:30,006
The Robot Man! Yeah!
839
00:42:33,384 --> 00:42:35,011
Whatever floats your boat, man.
840
00:42:40,391 --> 00:42:42,060
(SHOUTING)
841
00:42:42,810 --> 00:42:44,353
Take cover, Ronald!
842
00:42:47,565 --> 00:42:49,567
Come on, follow me, I know where to go.
843
00:42:49,650 --> 00:42:51,194
We're storming the gate.
844
00:42:52,528 --> 00:42:54,906
I told you it closed an hour ago.
845
00:42:54,989 --> 00:42:57,533
No, it didn't. 'Cause I just opened it up.
846
00:42:58,826 --> 00:43:00,203
Come on, we're going swimming.
847
00:43:00,328 --> 00:43:01,370
RONALD: I'm going to bed.
848
00:43:01,746 --> 00:43:03,372
We got a big day tomorrow.
849
00:43:03,498 --> 00:43:05,833
Yeah, I'll be right behind you.
850
00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:08,252
ZIEGLER: We're totally going in the pool.
851
00:43:08,336 --> 00:43:10,171
We're totally going in! (LAUGHING)
852
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:13,382
Come on.
This is gonna be my seaman's helmet.
853
00:43:13,508 --> 00:43:16,010
Right here. Look!
854
00:43:16,219 --> 00:43:17,678
- Look at this! You guys.
-(LAUGHING)
855
00:43:18,054 --> 00:43:20,848
I'm Captain Nemo, the muff diver.
856
00:43:22,058 --> 00:43:24,519
I'm going on a mission for bearded clams.
857
00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:25,853
Idiot.
858
00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:33,277
What do you say? Lippe take a dippy?
859
00:43:33,528 --> 00:43:34,612
ZIEGLER: Come on in!
860
00:43:35,696 --> 00:43:37,365
(SPEAKING GERMAN)
861
00:43:37,949 --> 00:43:39,033
(LAUGHS) What?
862
00:43:39,450 --> 00:43:41,702
That's German for, "I can't swim,"
and I really can't.
863
00:43:42,036 --> 00:43:44,372
Oh, well, it's only 4 feet.
864
00:43:45,081 --> 00:43:46,916
Well, I didn't bring a bathing suit, so...
865
00:43:47,041 --> 00:43:49,627
Oh, yeah? Well, I didn't either.
866
00:43:49,710 --> 00:43:52,922
Timbo, it's business casual.
Get your ass in here.
867
00:43:53,047 --> 00:43:54,549
JOAN: Come on, Tim.
868
00:43:58,761 --> 00:44:00,221
Mr. Lippe.
869
00:44:00,721 --> 00:44:03,850
Calling Mr. Lippe.
870
00:44:03,933 --> 00:44:05,059
ZIEGLER: Get in here.
871
00:44:06,310 --> 00:44:09,230
Oh, my gosh. It's kind of chilly, actually.
872
00:44:10,731 --> 00:44:12,108
(EXCLAIMS)
873
00:44:13,609 --> 00:44:15,403
- Oh, my God.
- JOAN: It's nice.
874
00:44:15,486 --> 00:44:18,072
Dean, you look like R2-D2.
875
00:44:19,073 --> 00:44:20,741
(MIMICS BLEEPING)
876
00:44:29,125 --> 00:44:30,751
Crazy day, right?
877
00:44:39,594 --> 00:44:40,761
So...
878
00:44:43,097 --> 00:44:44,140
Oh, man.
879
00:44:50,479 --> 00:44:53,274
Your skin is so milky.
880
00:44:54,317 --> 00:44:55,526
It's like ice cream.
881
00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:05,620
I'm having a perfect moment.
882
00:45:14,212 --> 00:45:16,672
- What the heck is going on here?
-(ZIEGLER GRUNTS)
883
00:45:17,006 --> 00:45:20,301
Orin! You ruin everything.
884
00:45:20,468 --> 00:45:23,471
Helgesson, I got something for you
right here.
885
00:45:24,138 --> 00:45:27,308
Suck on it, baby. Right there.
Full moon, Orin.
886
00:45:27,475 --> 00:45:30,102
You people are such low-lifes.
887
00:45:30,186 --> 00:45:32,480
He happened to come out right then, right?
888
00:45:32,688 --> 00:45:37,068
Yeah, you were watching
through the window, you kinky bastard.
889
00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:39,570
Well, this is a very nice "How do you do"
in the middle of the night.
890
00:45:39,654 --> 00:45:43,407
Go back to your room and tie yourself up,
you kinky bastard.
891
00:45:43,491 --> 00:45:44,742
Will you just shut up?
892
00:45:44,992 --> 00:45:46,452
Whoo! I love it!
893
00:45:46,535 --> 00:45:48,412
Oh, my God. Holy crap.
894
00:45:48,496 --> 00:45:50,331
- Oh, my God.
- We're so dead.
895
00:45:53,167 --> 00:45:54,418
(LAUGHS)
896
00:45:58,839 --> 00:46:00,424
I wanna make love!
897
00:46:06,055 --> 00:46:07,598
Where is everybody?
898
00:46:09,183 --> 00:46:12,436
Timbo? Ronald? Oh, shit.
899
00:46:16,357 --> 00:46:19,235
Making love to you was super,
900
00:46:20,027 --> 00:46:21,779
super awesome.
901
00:46:27,368 --> 00:46:28,786
Do you want to cuddle?
902
00:46:28,869 --> 00:46:29,912
Cuddle?
903
00:46:31,539 --> 00:46:32,748
I love to cuddle.
904
00:46:34,375 --> 00:46:35,543
Okay.
905
00:46:39,422 --> 00:46:40,923
You're special, Joan.
906
00:46:42,717 --> 00:46:44,135
So special.
907
00:47:02,236 --> 00:47:03,237
Calm down, Tyler.
908
00:47:03,321 --> 00:47:05,489
You're not gonna miss the game.
Just put your dad on, please.
909
00:47:06,949 --> 00:47:09,076
Hey, didn't you look
at the schedule on the fridge?
910
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:10,661
This is the last regular season game.
911
00:47:10,745 --> 00:47:13,956
He actually has a chance to play,
Richie, Christ.
912
00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:16,751
Okay. Okay, I love you, too.
913
00:47:17,251 --> 00:47:20,921
Tell Tyler to kick some butt for me, okay?
See you.
914
00:47:26,677 --> 00:47:27,720
Good morning.
915
00:47:27,803 --> 00:47:30,264
Sorry, crisis on the home front.
916
00:47:33,434 --> 00:47:34,769
You already told your husband?
917
00:47:35,269 --> 00:47:36,312
Yeah, right.
918
00:47:38,147 --> 00:47:39,940
- We have to tell them.
- No.
919
00:47:40,107 --> 00:47:42,109
- Right? I mean...
- Tim, I told you,
920
00:47:42,485 --> 00:47:46,280
what I do here in Cedar Rapids,
it stays here.
921
00:47:49,492 --> 00:47:52,620
No, I am not a philanderer.
922
00:47:58,459 --> 00:47:59,668
I'm a philanderer.
923
00:48:00,795 --> 00:48:01,962
I'm a philanderer!
924
00:48:04,965 --> 00:48:06,175
I have to tell Macy.
925
00:48:06,300 --> 00:48:07,635
Tim, do not call Macy.
926
00:48:07,718 --> 00:48:09,512
I need... I don't have any clothes.
927
00:48:10,971 --> 00:48:12,973
-(GROANS LOUDLY)
- Tim, calm down.
928
00:48:13,766 --> 00:48:16,018
I can't. I can't live like this.
929
00:48:19,730 --> 00:48:21,399
I'm not like you.
930
00:48:21,732 --> 00:48:22,858
Tim...
931
00:48:24,235 --> 00:48:25,319
I'm sorry.
932
00:48:27,071 --> 00:48:28,197
Don't...
933
00:48:32,576 --> 00:48:33,619
Hey, Tim.
934
00:48:33,702 --> 00:48:35,746
She's not that pretty and she smokes.
935
00:48:36,747 --> 00:48:39,667
- Tim?
- I made love to a woman, Macy.
936
00:48:40,042 --> 00:48:42,628
(CRYING) Her name is Joan.
She's from Omaha, Nebraska
937
00:48:42,711 --> 00:48:44,839
and her mouth tastes like cigarettes.
938
00:48:45,673 --> 00:48:46,966
You slept with someone?
939
00:48:47,174 --> 00:48:50,344
It was a mistake.
You mean everything to me.
940
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:52,096
I can't believe you.
941
00:48:53,681 --> 00:48:55,474
You really slept with someone?
942
00:48:57,476 --> 00:48:58,561
Will you marry me?
943
00:48:58,978 --> 00:49:01,188
- What?
- Will you marry me, please?
944
00:49:01,897 --> 00:49:03,732
Just don't leave. I'll do anything.
945
00:49:03,816 --> 00:49:05,276
Tim, slow down.
946
00:49:05,359 --> 00:49:07,278
- Please, let's get married right away.
- Whoa.
947
00:49:07,987 --> 00:49:09,697
(SIGHS) Listen,
I've been trying to tell you this,
948
00:49:09,780 --> 00:49:12,533
but you seem to have
a hard time grasping it, okay?
949
00:49:13,284 --> 00:49:15,786
I was married for half my life.
950
00:49:16,620 --> 00:49:20,875
I've been divorced for all of six months.
I wanna enjoy my freedom.
951
00:49:21,876 --> 00:49:22,960
What?
952
00:49:23,419 --> 00:49:25,296
Like, is there someone else?
953
00:49:25,463 --> 00:49:26,839
Well, I wouldn't put it that way.
954
00:49:26,922 --> 00:49:29,550
I mean, there's no
one person in particular, no.
955
00:49:29,633 --> 00:49:32,178
What do you mean, "No one person"?
There's people?
956
00:49:32,386 --> 00:49:33,971
Like, plural, people?
957
00:49:34,722 --> 00:49:37,183
Not a lot, I mean, just a few.
958
00:49:39,226 --> 00:49:40,352
(GASPS)
959
00:49:40,436 --> 00:49:41,687
I'm dying.
960
00:49:42,229 --> 00:49:44,106
- Tim...
-(SOBBING) I'm dying.
961
00:49:44,482 --> 00:49:45,816
Pull yourself together.
962
00:49:45,941 --> 00:49:50,404
I can't... I literally can't breathe.
I literally can't breathe.
963
00:49:50,529 --> 00:49:51,655
- Tim...
-(GRUNTS)
964
00:49:52,198 --> 00:49:53,991
-(SHUSHING) Tim...
-/ can't breathe.
965
00:49:54,074 --> 00:49:55,159
Timmy...
966
00:49:55,868 --> 00:49:56,952
Yeah, yes?
967
00:49:57,495 --> 00:49:58,954
You know that bird you gave me?
968
00:50:00,039 --> 00:50:01,123
What kind of bird was it?
969
00:50:03,417 --> 00:50:05,002
Scarlet tanager.
970
00:50:05,085 --> 00:50:06,879
And what kind of sound did it make?
971
00:50:08,672 --> 00:50:10,090
Come on, you remember.
972
00:50:11,759 --> 00:50:13,093
(IMITATES BIRD SOUNDS)
973
00:50:14,762 --> 00:50:16,889
That's right. Very good.
974
00:50:17,306 --> 00:50:19,141
And do you remember
what we learned about
975
00:50:19,225 --> 00:50:20,935
when the baby birds are born?
976
00:50:21,143 --> 00:50:23,979
When the mommy decides it's time
for them to leave home?
977
00:50:24,647 --> 00:50:25,731
What does she do?
978
00:50:26,524 --> 00:50:29,109
She nudges them out of the nest.
979
00:50:29,193 --> 00:50:30,236
That's right.
980
00:50:30,319 --> 00:50:34,490
But the mommy bird knows
that even though the babies are scared,
981
00:50:34,949 --> 00:50:37,243
it's time for them to fly away.
982
00:50:38,118 --> 00:50:40,704
So, even though your heart hurts
very, very much,
983
00:50:41,789 --> 00:50:45,584
I think it's for the best.
It's time for you to fly away, Tim.
984
00:50:46,794 --> 00:50:49,296
Bye-bye, little birdie Tim.
985
00:50:50,464 --> 00:50:51,799
BYE-bye.
986
00:50:54,593 --> 00:50:57,471
Bye, bye-bye.
987
00:51:13,445 --> 00:51:14,863
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
988
00:51:15,489 --> 00:51:16,532
I love you.
989
00:51:16,615 --> 00:51:17,658
Yeah, you better love me
990
00:51:17,741 --> 00:51:19,785
if you're gonna fuck me in the poop shoot
the way you done.
991
00:51:19,868 --> 00:51:21,745
- Bill?
- Orin Helgesson told me
992
00:51:21,829 --> 00:51:23,914
about your little hootenanny
in the pool there, Tim.
993
00:51:23,998 --> 00:51:25,040
What are you thinking?
994
00:51:25,124 --> 00:51:26,750
You add that to the goddamn petition,
995
00:51:26,834 --> 00:51:29,169
-may as well commit suicide here.
- Father of the bride.
996
00:51:29,878 --> 00:51:31,171
Yeah, I'll be right there.
997
00:51:31,297 --> 00:51:33,257
I can fix it, Bill. Just tell me what to do.
998
00:51:33,340 --> 00:51:34,425
Oh, what to do.
999
00:51:34,508 --> 00:51:37,344
You can win the Two Diamonds.
That's what you do, Tim.
1000
00:51:38,178 --> 00:51:41,473
Or so help me, Jesus God,
you won't have a job, you won't have a life.
1001
00:51:41,557 --> 00:51:43,392
All you'll have is my fist up your ass
1002
00:51:43,475 --> 00:51:45,436
and believe you me,
that's something neither of us wants.
1003
00:51:45,519 --> 00:51:47,646
Bill, please, just listen to me for a minute...
1004
00:51:47,730 --> 00:51:49,898
Ah! Cripes almighty. Worst day of my life.
1005
00:51:50,482 --> 00:51:54,528
Hey, (CLEARS THROAT) sorry, folks.
Oh, you look so beautiful, Kim.
1006
00:51:54,612 --> 00:51:55,738
You look like a flower.
1007
00:51:55,821 --> 00:51:57,948
- MAN: Smile, father.
- A gosh dang flower.
1008
00:52:07,750 --> 00:52:08,876
I'm dead.
1009
00:52:09,209 --> 00:52:12,504
Macy broke up with me, Orin called Bill,
I'm gonna lose my job.
1010
00:52:14,214 --> 00:52:15,841
My life is ruined.
1011
00:52:16,884 --> 00:52:18,052
Sit down.
1012
00:52:22,848 --> 00:52:24,266
Your life is not ruined, Lippe.
1013
00:52:26,852 --> 00:52:29,730
Now, I swore I would never tell. I promised.
1014
00:52:32,107 --> 00:52:33,233
Roger Lemke,
1015
00:52:35,027 --> 00:52:38,656
I know how he won the Diamonds
all those years in a row.
1016
00:52:39,740 --> 00:52:41,158
Yeah, he knocked it out of the park.
1017
00:52:41,241 --> 00:52:42,368
He paid for them.
1018
00:52:42,826 --> 00:52:46,580
He paid Orin cash
in exchange for the Two Diamonds.
1019
00:52:47,748 --> 00:52:48,999
(SCOFFS)
1020
00:52:49,500 --> 00:52:50,751
That's not...
1021
00:52:52,211 --> 00:52:53,629
- That's not true.
-It is.
1022
00:52:53,796 --> 00:52:55,714
He told me himself. Roger told me.
1023
00:52:55,798 --> 00:53:00,427
Really? Why, he just told you that?
1024
00:53:00,511 --> 00:53:02,262
That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
1025
00:53:02,346 --> 00:53:03,764
Why would he tell you that?
1026
00:53:05,891 --> 00:53:07,059
We were together.
1027
00:53:13,565 --> 00:53:14,608
It was stupid.
1028
00:53:14,692 --> 00:53:18,028
It ended two years ago, 'cause he was
getting into some pretty weird stuff,
1029
00:53:18,112 --> 00:53:19,780
-as we all know now.
- No.
1030
00:53:19,863 --> 00:53:20,989
Roger was a good man.
1031
00:53:21,073 --> 00:53:22,700
He was a family man,
and that was an accident.
1032
00:53:22,783 --> 00:53:24,410
Roger was a freak.
1033
00:53:26,161 --> 00:53:28,622
Not to mention a small minded,
egotistical con artist.
1034
00:53:28,997 --> 00:53:31,291
He was a liar, Tim.
1035
00:53:31,500 --> 00:53:33,836
And, yes, he paid for the Two Diamonds.
1036
00:53:35,879 --> 00:53:37,506
My foot!
1037
00:53:37,840 --> 00:53:39,675
I'm sure you seduced him,
just like you did me.
1038
00:53:40,050 --> 00:53:41,719
You ruined my life.
1039
00:53:41,844 --> 00:53:43,971
Are you fucking kidding me?
1040
00:53:44,054 --> 00:53:46,390
I am trying to help you out
and you are acting like a child.
1041
00:53:46,473 --> 00:53:49,810
Well, I'd rather act like a child
than a prostitute.
1042
00:54:04,533 --> 00:54:05,909
Timbo, red bush?
1043
00:54:06,368 --> 00:54:08,620
Deanzie needs details.
1044
00:54:08,787 --> 00:54:10,873
- Lay off.
- What the... What are you doing?
1045
00:54:11,039 --> 00:54:13,542
Timbo, what the hell's
wrong with you, Timbo?
1046
00:54:13,667 --> 00:54:14,793
- What are you doing?
- Ow!
1047
00:54:14,877 --> 00:54:15,961
(LAUGHS)
1048
00:54:16,044 --> 00:54:17,546
- Ow!
- Titty twister!
1049
00:54:18,589 --> 00:54:19,757
Why are you laughing?
1050
00:54:20,048 --> 00:54:21,550
You think my life is a joke?
1051
00:54:21,717 --> 00:54:24,178
I lost my job and my lover
1052
00:54:24,261 --> 00:54:27,097
and my hero paid bribes
to win the Two Diamonds.
1053
00:54:28,515 --> 00:54:29,641
What did you just say?
1054
00:54:30,976 --> 00:54:32,352
Lemke bought the Two Diamonds?
1055
00:54:33,061 --> 00:54:34,855
You're saying Lemke paid off Orin?
1056
00:54:34,938 --> 00:54:36,523
No, Dean, you can't say anything.
1057
00:54:36,607 --> 00:54:38,233
- You can't...
- Oh, my God.
1058
00:54:38,400 --> 00:54:39,651
Dean, please.
1059
00:54:39,735 --> 00:54:42,029
That holy rolling hypocrite. I love it.
1060
00:54:42,237 --> 00:54:44,198
Timbo, this is pure gold.
1061
00:54:44,281 --> 00:54:45,574
Please don't.
1062
00:54:49,203 --> 00:54:52,915
All right, listen.
We look like a couple of homos out here.
1063
00:54:53,123 --> 00:54:55,501
Let's go in the room and discuss this
like gentlemen,
1064
00:54:55,584 --> 00:54:56,752
over Bloody Mary's.
1065
00:54:57,419 --> 00:54:59,797
You're freaking out.
Your world is crumbling.
1066
00:55:00,839 --> 00:55:02,090
It's your first ASMI.
1067
00:55:03,258 --> 00:55:04,343
I get it.
1068
00:55:05,260 --> 00:55:06,345
Here.
1069
00:55:06,845 --> 00:55:08,430
Welcome to the jungle, Timbo.
1070
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:13,769
Now, my ex, Patti,
1071
00:55:15,604 --> 00:55:18,899
well-established fact that this broad
is a serious cunt stain, am I right?
1072
00:55:19,900 --> 00:55:22,945
But she's got it
to where the kids hate my guts.
1073
00:55:23,570 --> 00:55:24,905
I'm the bad guy.
1074
00:55:25,864 --> 00:55:30,953
Except, when our 17-year-old daughter
comes home pregnant,
1075
00:55:31,286 --> 00:55:32,704
who's the one who's so depressed
1076
00:55:32,788 --> 00:55:36,041
she can't come out from under the afghan
on the goddamn couch?
1077
00:55:36,792 --> 00:55:39,920
Patti. And who's the one
who's planning the baby shower
1078
00:55:40,128 --> 00:55:42,965
and taking Meg to the gyno
and all that shit?
1079
00:55:44,967 --> 00:55:46,343
The fucking Deanzie.
1080
00:55:48,512 --> 00:55:49,930
What are you talking about?
1081
00:55:53,225 --> 00:55:54,977
What I'm talking about, Tim,
1082
00:55:56,311 --> 00:56:01,775
is, even though I may be a blowhard
and, let's face it, kind of ajagoff,
1083
00:56:01,984 --> 00:56:03,986
I'm there for the people that need me.
1084
00:56:05,070 --> 00:56:06,822
And I don't spill my friends' beans.
1085
00:56:07,489 --> 00:56:08,657
Now, tell me this.
1086
00:56:09,825 --> 00:56:11,326
Are we friends?
1087
00:56:14,496 --> 00:56:15,539
Yeah.
1088
00:56:17,791 --> 00:56:19,084
Did you feel that?
1089
00:56:21,587 --> 00:56:23,255
Something just happened right now.
1090
00:56:25,507 --> 00:56:27,175
Now, you're with Deanzie,
1091
00:56:27,509 --> 00:56:29,094
and I'm not letting go.
1092
00:56:29,553 --> 00:56:34,099
And believe me, I would love to expose
Orin Helgesson's hypocritical bullshit.
1093
00:56:34,308 --> 00:56:37,603
But if you're asking me not to, I won't,
because you're my friend.
1094
00:56:41,899 --> 00:56:43,025
Thank you.
1095
00:56:44,985 --> 00:56:46,904
Now you see how dark this place is.
1096
00:56:48,363 --> 00:56:53,035
All right, I got tiger scratches on my back
from 20 years in this business.
1097
00:56:54,161 --> 00:56:55,537
Let me tell you something.
1098
00:56:56,246 --> 00:56:57,706
If you wanna survive,
1099
00:56:58,874 --> 00:57:01,168
you either gotta fight the tiger
1100
00:57:01,752 --> 00:57:03,921
or you gotta dance with the tiger.
1101
00:57:04,421 --> 00:57:05,714
Like Roger did.
1102
00:57:07,716 --> 00:57:09,468
How do you make the tiger dance?
1103
00:57:10,469 --> 00:57:11,887
You gotta show him a little teat.
1104
00:57:18,977 --> 00:57:20,562
How'd it go with Helgesson, big guy?
1105
00:57:20,896 --> 00:57:23,398
I think I did a fair to middling job.
1106
00:57:23,899 --> 00:57:25,108
Oh, Tim, don't forget,
1107
00:57:25,192 --> 00:57:27,486
your one-on-one
with Orin starts in 10 minutes.
1108
00:57:47,297 --> 00:57:48,423
President Helgesson.
1109
00:57:49,508 --> 00:57:52,094
Come in. Have a seat on the davenport.
1110
00:58:07,734 --> 00:58:10,654
President Helgesson,
what I'd like to talk to you about today
1111
00:58:10,737 --> 00:58:12,990
are risk mitigation mechanisms
available to...
1112
00:58:13,115 --> 00:58:15,909
You came down here to the big show, Tim,
1113
00:58:15,993 --> 00:58:18,662
and you got the little twinklies in the eye,
1114
00:58:19,079 --> 00:58:23,291
and you succumbed to the call of a floozy.
1115
00:58:24,126 --> 00:58:27,963
I just want to say I'm really sorry
for my role in the malfeasance in the pool.
1116
00:58:28,296 --> 00:58:31,133
You blew it, Tim. You blew it.
1117
00:58:33,719 --> 00:58:35,262
I need the Two Diamonds.
1118
00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:38,348
Well, you should have thought of that
before you took off your big boy pants.
1119
00:58:38,473 --> 00:58:39,891
No, no.
1120
00:58:43,395 --> 00:58:44,479
Please, just...
1121
00:58:44,563 --> 00:58:46,314
All right, now you take a minute
to compose yourself
1122
00:58:46,398 --> 00:58:48,275
and then I'm gonna have to
ask you to leave.
1123
00:58:56,283 --> 00:58:58,744
I'm prepared to show you a little teat.
1124
00:59:03,582 --> 00:59:05,834
Will you dance with me,
President Helgesson?
1125
00:59:07,169 --> 00:59:08,545
Do you wanna...
1126
00:59:09,838 --> 00:59:11,089
We can dance.
1127
00:59:14,718 --> 00:59:16,136
- Tim...
- I have money.
1128
00:59:17,554 --> 00:59:19,306
I can give you money.
1129
00:59:22,059 --> 00:59:23,393
(CHUCKLES)
1130
00:59:25,312 --> 00:59:26,688
Interesting.
1131
00:59:29,983 --> 00:59:33,445
You know, Tim, one thing that Roger knew.
1132
00:59:33,820 --> 00:59:37,157
Roger knew that if you want to win, you...
1133
00:59:37,699 --> 00:59:39,367
I like the way you put it,
1134
00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:42,913
you have to be prepared
to show a little teat.
1135
00:59:54,883 --> 00:59:58,303
It's a $50 traveler's check. It's fully insured.
1136
00:59:58,887 --> 01:00:00,472
Well, so it is. So it is.
1137
01:00:03,767 --> 01:00:05,310
What else you got hiding in there?
1138
01:00:14,486 --> 01:00:18,073
I brought $1,500 in checks
1139
01:00:18,573 --> 01:00:20,075
in case of an emergency.
1140
01:00:20,408 --> 01:00:24,162
Well, this sure seems
like an emergency to me.
1141
01:00:31,920 --> 01:00:36,466
Congratulations,
Mr. Two Diamond Award winner.
1142
01:00:38,218 --> 01:00:41,471
Looks like I just found
the next Roger Lemke.
1143
01:00:44,516 --> 01:00:50,021
You remember that petition to recall
BrownStar's Two Diamond Awards?
1144
01:00:55,610 --> 01:00:57,612
I just made that disappear.
1145
01:00:57,988 --> 01:01:00,907
Poof! Gone. Rainmaker.
1146
01:01:11,376 --> 01:01:13,170
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1147
01:01:32,230 --> 01:01:33,940
BREE: Hey, can I bum a heater?
1148
01:01:35,775 --> 01:01:36,902
Yeah.
1149
01:01:38,403 --> 01:01:39,446
So, you wanna party?
1150
01:01:40,947 --> 01:01:42,115
Maybe.
1151
01:01:42,199 --> 01:01:44,117
- Maybe later?
- Maybe later.
1152
01:01:44,201 --> 01:01:45,619
All right, I'll be around.
1153
01:01:47,204 --> 01:01:49,289
Hey, can I bum a heater?
1154
01:01:49,706 --> 01:01:50,790
All right.
1155
01:02:15,565 --> 01:02:16,900
Hey, butterscotch.
1156
01:02:19,569 --> 01:02:22,489
You look like you're in serious need
of some relaxation.
1157
01:02:23,406 --> 01:02:24,491
Yeah.
1158
01:02:25,158 --> 01:02:28,495
That's okay,
I don't have any money anyway.
1159
01:02:28,662 --> 01:02:31,331
No, no, no, I didn't mean that.
1160
01:02:31,498 --> 01:02:35,001
I'm going to a party
at my Uncle Ken's house. You should come.
1161
01:02:36,086 --> 01:02:40,757
I don't know, Bree. I did something today
I don't feel very good about.
1162
01:02:41,841 --> 01:02:43,510
I do that, like, every day.
1163
01:02:46,763 --> 01:02:48,181
How could I do that?
1164
01:02:48,974 --> 01:02:53,103
You know, it seems like your subconscious
is all, like, talking shit.
1165
01:02:53,186 --> 01:02:54,980
Like, "Fuck you, man." You know?
1166
01:02:56,982 --> 01:03:00,026
Yeah, I just... I'm a criminal now.
1167
01:03:00,318 --> 01:03:02,195
I mean, that was a criminal act.
1168
01:03:02,279 --> 01:03:05,448
It's kind of like,
you can't keep your emotions
1169
01:03:05,949 --> 01:03:09,119
in these little cages
like little animals, you know,
1170
01:03:09,202 --> 01:03:12,455
like coyotes and armadillos and shit.
1171
01:03:12,539 --> 01:03:15,292
It's like, they just want to break free.
Right, Uncle Ken?
1172
01:03:15,375 --> 01:03:16,960
Yeah. Pass me that Q, Bree.
1173
01:03:21,006 --> 01:03:22,132
Whoa.
1174
01:03:22,549 --> 01:03:23,550
Is that...
1175
01:03:24,801 --> 01:03:27,012
You... Wait, you can't...
1176
01:03:27,470 --> 01:03:29,472
I don't know, is that safe?
1177
01:03:31,558 --> 01:03:33,643
This would be marijuana, I take it?
1178
01:03:33,727 --> 01:03:35,061
(LAUGHING)
1179
01:03:36,980 --> 01:03:38,315
It'll make you feel better.
1180
01:03:39,149 --> 01:03:41,318
- Suck the glass dick, dude.
-It's not...
1181
01:03:41,818 --> 01:03:43,570
Suck that fucking dick, man.
1182
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:48,408
(EXCLAIMS)
1183
01:03:50,368 --> 01:03:51,494
Oh, jeez.
1184
01:03:53,830 --> 01:03:55,081
Oh, jeez.
1185
01:03:56,416 --> 01:03:57,751
Oh, jeez.
1186
01:03:57,917 --> 01:03:59,502
(SHOUTING)
1187
01:03:59,919 --> 01:04:01,671
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
1188
01:04:02,672 --> 01:04:04,174
Butterscotch lit up.
1189
01:04:05,759 --> 01:04:07,344
(BREE SHRIEKS)
1190
01:04:17,270 --> 01:04:19,939
TIM: It's so pretty out here.
1191
01:04:22,859 --> 01:04:24,611
- Hey, you're getting fat.
- Fuck your mom.
1192
01:04:24,694 --> 01:04:26,529
- What?
- Fuck wad.
1193
01:04:26,696 --> 01:04:28,573
Everyone's cool. I promise, man.
1194
01:04:32,577 --> 01:04:34,579
(LAUGHS) Hey, nice suit, faggot.
1195
01:04:34,788 --> 01:04:36,790
- Leave him alone, Gary.
- Fuck you, whore.
1196
01:04:38,792 --> 01:04:40,210
Hey, that's not very cool.
1197
01:04:40,293 --> 01:04:41,878
Yes, it was. It was pretty cool.
1198
01:04:41,961 --> 01:04:43,713
Suck the shit out of my cock, Gary.
1199
01:04:43,797 --> 01:04:45,131
Okay, let's schedule that.
1200
01:04:45,715 --> 01:04:48,134
There we go. Magic's happening. Okay.
1201
01:04:48,259 --> 01:04:50,095
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
1202
01:04:52,055 --> 01:04:53,223
Oh, my God.
1203
01:05:02,107 --> 01:05:04,776
Danny? Danny isn't here, Mrs. Torrance.
1204
01:05:05,110 --> 01:05:09,322
Danny's gone away. But, here's Johnny.
1205
01:05:09,406 --> 01:05:10,824
(CROWD LAUGH)
1206
01:05:10,949 --> 01:05:12,659
- And a shining good evening...
- Where is Timbo?
1207
01:05:13,159 --> 01:05:16,496
This is weird. I wanna know
what happened at that one-on-one today.
1208
01:05:16,746 --> 01:05:19,249
Since when did you care
about stuff like that, Ziegler?
1209
01:05:19,457 --> 01:05:21,000
Let's just say I'm worried. All right?
1210
01:05:21,126 --> 01:05:22,669
Yeah, I'm a little worried myself.
1211
01:05:22,752 --> 01:05:24,754
He was really pissed at me this morning.
1212
01:05:24,838 --> 01:05:26,256
Oh, I know. Believe me.
1213
01:05:27,132 --> 01:05:30,009
We talk about everything.
He's practically my best friend at this point.
1214
01:05:30,135 --> 01:05:31,678
You just met him two days ago.
1215
01:05:31,803 --> 01:05:33,263
You know what, blow me, Ronald.
1216
01:05:33,346 --> 01:05:35,181
It's not my problem
if you're too goddamn afraid
1217
01:05:35,265 --> 01:05:36,808
to tell another man that you love him.
1218
01:05:37,016 --> 01:05:38,435
What is his cell phone number?
1219
01:05:38,518 --> 01:05:39,936
I don't know. I don't have it.
1220
01:05:40,019 --> 01:05:41,104
I've got it.
1221
01:05:42,814 --> 01:05:44,441
Here, no, no, no. I'll talk to him.
I'll talk to him.
1222
01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:45,859
He's not gonna recognize your voice.
1223
01:05:46,860 --> 01:05:48,653
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
1224
01:05:51,823 --> 01:05:52,949
Hello?
1225
01:05:53,116 --> 01:05:55,118
Timbo, you're missing the show.
1226
01:05:55,201 --> 01:05:56,286
Deanzie!
1227
01:05:56,369 --> 01:05:59,873
I miss you. I miss your smile.
1228
01:06:00,165 --> 01:06:02,333
Yeah, yeah, I miss your smile, too.
What are you doing?
1229
01:06:02,500 --> 01:06:04,210
I'm high on drugs.
1230
01:06:04,627 --> 01:06:07,464
I'm a 110% blotto.
1231
01:06:07,714 --> 01:06:09,883
Where are you, buddy?
I'll come meet you right now.
1232
01:06:09,966 --> 01:06:11,634
You wanna party, Deanne'?
1233
01:06:11,718 --> 01:06:13,720
- Yeah, you know me.
- Good.
1234
01:06:13,845 --> 01:06:15,972
- Bree, Deanzie wants to party.
- BREE: Yeah!
1235
01:06:16,055 --> 01:06:17,223
TIM: How does he get here?
1236
01:06:18,391 --> 01:06:22,812
I used to worship these guys.
I thought they were like, terrific
1237
01:06:22,896 --> 01:06:24,314
and important and like...
1238
01:06:24,481 --> 01:06:25,732
(SNIFFS)
1239
01:06:26,232 --> 01:06:30,320
And like, they were good to other people
and they did the right thing
1240
01:06:30,403 --> 01:06:33,823
and they were special like
the Founding Fathers of America.
1241
01:06:33,907 --> 01:06:36,868
- Like Thomas Jefferson.
- Yes! NTS.
1242
01:06:37,243 --> 01:06:38,912
Bree, not too shabby.
1243
01:06:39,412 --> 01:06:40,497
- Ron...
- What?
1244
01:06:40,580 --> 01:06:42,332
Is there something wrong with your van?
1245
01:06:42,415 --> 01:06:45,919
- No, there's nothing wrong with the van.
- Why is it going so slow?
1246
01:06:46,044 --> 01:06:47,712
RONALD: I don't wanna mess around
and get a ticket.
1247
01:06:47,837 --> 01:06:50,173
ZIEGLER: Ron, the car's gonna stall
if you go any slower than this.
1248
01:06:50,256 --> 01:06:52,425
JOAN: Look, there's a turtle,
that's going faster than us.
1249
01:06:52,509 --> 01:06:53,510
RONALD: Where?
ZIEGLER: She's kidding, Ron.
1250
01:06:53,593 --> 01:06:54,677
JOAN: There he is.
1251
01:06:54,761 --> 01:06:57,096
You're smart. You are.
1252
01:06:57,180 --> 01:07:01,601
And you're pretty,
and you're sweet, and you're insightful.
1253
01:07:02,060 --> 01:07:03,520
You're insightful.
Like a guidance counselor.
1254
01:07:03,603 --> 01:07:04,687
(LAUGHING)
1255
01:07:04,771 --> 01:07:07,774
And your smile, just then,
when you do that.
1256
01:07:07,899 --> 01:07:11,611
Don't do that 'cause it makes me,
like, happy. Too happy.
1257
01:07:12,445 --> 01:07:16,616
And you don't have to do those things
that you do with, like, strangers.
1258
01:07:17,116 --> 01:07:19,118
You're good, and you don't need to do that.
1259
01:07:19,452 --> 01:07:21,037
You're so sweet, Tim.
1260
01:07:21,287 --> 01:07:23,957
But, you know,
we're all just selling something.
1261
01:07:24,707 --> 01:07:27,877
A fuck, dope, insurance.
1262
01:07:27,961 --> 01:07:30,547
What about that guy you had to bribe
for that award or whatever?
1263
01:07:30,630 --> 01:07:32,966
It's like we're all just selling something.
1264
01:07:33,091 --> 01:07:36,761
I know, and it's a major bummer.
You just bummed me out.
1265
01:07:37,512 --> 01:07:39,681
What you said just bummed me out.
1266
01:07:40,306 --> 01:07:43,017
I'm so bummed out right now.
1267
01:07:43,184 --> 01:07:44,602
(LAUGHING)
1268
01:07:46,688 --> 01:07:48,314
I'm so bummed out.
1269
01:07:49,816 --> 01:07:51,526
I'm so bummed out.
1270
01:07:58,992 --> 01:08:01,369
Oh, man. This place is bad news.
1271
01:08:02,203 --> 01:08:05,498
All right, look. You guys go in
the front door, I'm gonna go around back.
1272
01:08:05,999 --> 01:08:07,125
Sounds good, Rambo.
1273
01:08:07,375 --> 01:08:09,794
Do you know what an RIP license app is?
1274
01:08:09,877 --> 01:08:11,713
You don't, do you? You don't even know.
1275
01:08:11,879 --> 01:08:14,716
You're probably uninsured.
You have it all figured out.
1276
01:08:14,841 --> 01:08:16,426
I bet you don't even have a toothbrush.
1277
01:08:16,509 --> 01:08:17,594
Come on, Tim, don't.
1278
01:08:17,677 --> 01:08:18,803
What?
1279
01:08:18,886 --> 01:08:20,013
Hey!
1280
01:08:24,726 --> 01:08:27,520
We don't want any trouble.
We're just here to get our friend.
1281
01:08:28,021 --> 01:08:29,814
I got a fucking toothbrush.
1282
01:08:30,648 --> 01:08:32,066
(CROWD EXCLAIMING)
1283
01:08:32,317 --> 01:08:33,484
BREE: That's enough.
1284
01:08:33,568 --> 01:08:35,111
Gary, he's cool. I said he's cool.
1285
01:08:35,194 --> 01:08:36,487
TIM: Don't do that to Bree.
1286
01:08:36,571 --> 01:08:38,239
Don't push! Don't push Bree.
1287
01:08:40,074 --> 01:08:41,576
Hey, whoa, whoa. Can we help you?
1288
01:08:42,535 --> 01:08:45,330
Yeah, maybe you can.
I'm looking for a friend of mine.
1289
01:08:45,413 --> 01:08:48,750
He's a skinny guy, wearing a suit and tie.
Have you seen him?
1290
01:08:48,875 --> 01:08:50,084
(LAUGHING)
1291
01:08:50,251 --> 01:08:51,377
Eat me, cop.
1292
01:08:51,502 --> 01:08:53,254
I'm not a cop, Joan Jett.
1293
01:08:53,755 --> 01:08:55,506
- So, clean out your ears and tell me...
- You know what, man,
1294
01:08:55,590 --> 01:08:57,467
-what's your fucking problem? Really?
- I don't have a problem.
1295
01:08:57,550 --> 01:08:59,802
- Look, I'm just asking a question.
- You want a little piece of this?
1296
01:08:59,886 --> 01:09:01,054
No, I don't... Ow!
1297
01:09:01,846 --> 01:09:03,598
No, stop! Okay, that's enough.
1298
01:09:03,723 --> 01:09:04,891
Hey, stop!
1299
01:09:06,601 --> 01:09:08,019
MAN 1: Here, grab my hand.
MAN 2: Grab his hand!
1300
01:09:08,102 --> 01:09:10,021
MAN 1: Grab my hand. I'm trying to
help you up. Grab my hand.
1301
01:09:10,104 --> 01:09:11,189
MAN 2: Let him help you.
1302
01:09:11,272 --> 01:09:12,398
What are we gonna do?
1303
01:09:13,274 --> 01:09:14,609
(MEN EXCLAIMING)
1304
01:09:14,776 --> 01:09:15,902
Come on.
1305
01:09:16,527 --> 01:09:17,528
Come on?
1306
01:09:17,612 --> 01:09:19,697
Hey. Hey, Hey!
1307
01:09:22,200 --> 01:09:23,576
MAN 3: Who's this motherfucker?
1308
01:09:24,243 --> 01:09:27,622
I may look like some suit wearing
businessman to y'all,
1309
01:09:27,747 --> 01:09:30,249
truth is, I'm straight up gangster.
1310
01:09:31,125 --> 01:09:35,630
And I always keep one in the chamber
in case you pondering.
1311
01:09:36,923 --> 01:09:40,760
So, I suggest for the time being,
you let my nigger be, motherfucker.
1312
01:09:47,100 --> 01:09:48,893
Come on. Get up.
1313
01:09:54,232 --> 01:09:55,608
Indeed.
1314
01:10:02,782 --> 01:10:03,908
Timbo!
1315
01:10:13,793 --> 01:10:17,588
- What about Ziegler?
- Ziegler will be coming. Just start the car.
1316
01:10:19,090 --> 01:10:20,258
Bye, butterscotch.
1317
01:10:20,758 --> 01:10:21,926
See you tomorrow.
1318
01:10:22,009 --> 01:10:23,594
Butterscotch, come back. Come on.
1319
01:10:23,678 --> 01:10:24,846
Just go back inside.
1320
01:10:24,971 --> 01:10:26,764
Here, here, here. Take a beer for the road.
1321
01:10:30,476 --> 01:10:33,604
- There he is, there he is. Stop.
- Don't stop. Don't stop.
1322
01:10:33,813 --> 01:10:34,897
I'll catch up.
1323
01:10:34,981 --> 01:10:36,858
JOAN: Just go slowly.
GIRL: Where you going?
1324
01:10:37,150 --> 01:10:39,360
I thought you were gonna
kick the shit out of us?
1325
01:10:39,485 --> 01:10:40,611
No, no.
1326
01:10:41,863 --> 01:10:43,740
Come on, faggot.
We're just getting to know you, bro.
1327
01:10:43,823 --> 01:10:45,491
Hey, wait, wait up for me, wait.
1328
01:10:45,616 --> 01:10:47,535
Bree, What are you doing?
Bree, get back here.
1329
01:10:47,660 --> 01:10:49,287
- Who are you?
- I'm friends with that dude.
1330
01:10:49,370 --> 01:10:50,663
- You're friends with Timbo?
- Yeah. Fuck, yeah!
1331
01:10:50,788 --> 01:10:52,165
I'm his best friend. Get in there.
1332
01:10:52,999 --> 01:10:54,667
Move. Hit it, Ronimal.
1333
01:10:55,501 --> 01:10:58,296
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
1334
01:10:58,463 --> 01:10:59,797
My 60d, you guys.
1335
01:11:00,173 --> 01:11:01,174
- You know her?
- Yeah.
1336
01:11:01,299 --> 01:11:02,300
- Yeah, you know me.
- She's my friend.
1337
01:11:02,383 --> 01:11:04,177
- Yes, I've been...
-'Cause she's like, "He's my friend."
1338
01:11:04,302 --> 01:11:06,971
I was like, "Yeah, he's my friend.
Get in the van." What are we doing here?
1339
01:11:07,054 --> 01:11:08,556
Timbo, what the hell happened back there?
1340
01:11:08,681 --> 01:11:10,725
I don't know.
I was on the floor getting kicked,
1341
01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:12,727
and then I looked up and Ronald was like,
1342
01:11:13,060 --> 01:11:15,146
-talking like a ghetto person.
- He was.
1343
01:11:15,229 --> 01:11:17,857
I don't like to brag,
but I do a pretty convincing Omar
1344
01:11:17,982 --> 01:11:20,234
from the HBO program The Wire.
1345
01:11:20,693 --> 01:11:23,613
"At least those crackers back yonder
seemed to buy it."
1346
01:11:23,696 --> 01:11:25,823
I love it. Crackers.
1347
01:11:26,199 --> 01:11:28,534
That's exactly like they say it, Ronimal.
1348
01:11:28,826 --> 01:11:30,787
Put them up. That's incredible.
1349
01:11:30,870 --> 01:11:33,206
Watch this guy, he's got tricks.
I'm telling you.
1350
01:11:34,165 --> 01:11:35,750
- Good night.
- Good night.
1351
01:11:35,917 --> 01:11:37,376
- Bree!
- No, Tim.
1352
01:11:39,212 --> 01:11:41,672
- Why don't you come back with me?
- Oh, no, that's not gonna happen.
1353
01:11:41,756 --> 01:11:43,049
BREE: Thanks for being so cool.
1354
01:11:45,218 --> 01:11:46,219
I love you.
1355
01:11:47,220 --> 01:11:48,262
Jesus.
1356
01:11:49,055 --> 01:11:50,848
I love you, too.
1357
01:11:53,017 --> 01:11:54,602
(CRYING) I love you so much.
1358
01:11:55,561 --> 01:11:56,687
(BOTH MOANING)
1359
01:12:05,196 --> 01:12:06,906
You could fuck me in the ass if you want.
1360
01:12:07,073 --> 01:12:09,242
Oh, no. Okay.
1361
01:12:09,867 --> 01:12:11,118
Maybe another time, Timbo.
1362
01:12:11,244 --> 01:12:12,620
I have heard about that.
1363
01:12:12,870 --> 01:12:13,871
- Good night.
- I wanna do that.
1364
01:12:13,955 --> 01:12:15,039
- Bye-bye.
- Wait.
1365
01:12:15,122 --> 01:12:16,374
- Night-night, Tim.
- Bree.
1366
01:12:16,749 --> 01:12:19,126
This is a great place you got.
We gotta hit the road.
1367
01:12:24,715 --> 01:12:27,760
- TIM: Her eyes are like round oceans.
- ZIEGLER: Yeah.
1368
01:12:27,885 --> 01:12:28,886
TIM: And her freckles.
1369
01:12:28,970 --> 01:12:32,223
But she's a prostitute
and I sold my soul a little.
1370
01:12:32,306 --> 01:12:34,058
ZIEGLER: All right, Timbo.
Just keep it down.
1371
01:12:34,141 --> 01:12:36,310
Bree sells her body,
1372
01:12:37,562 --> 01:12:39,397
but I sold my soul.
1373
01:12:39,772 --> 01:12:41,566
Okay. Why don't you guys get some sleep.
1374
01:12:41,649 --> 01:12:44,569
I'll stay up with him and make sure
he doesn't chew his arm off.
1375
01:12:48,239 --> 01:12:51,951
Listen, whatever you did, buddy,
you had to do,
1376
01:12:52,451 --> 01:12:53,995
and I ain't saying squat.
1377
01:12:57,999 --> 01:13:00,751
- I sold my soul, Dean.
- I know, I know.
1378
01:13:02,587 --> 01:13:04,088
Okay, lie down.
1379
01:13:11,429 --> 01:13:14,265
(SINGING) You promised to bring me
a pocket of posies
1380
01:13:15,266 --> 01:13:18,352
You promised to bring me
a pocket of posies
1381
01:13:19,312 --> 01:13:22,481
You promised to bring me
a pocket of posies
1382
01:13:22,607 --> 01:13:25,651
Johnny's so long at the fair
1383
01:13:26,277 --> 01:13:28,779
Oh, dear! What can the matter be?
1384
01:13:28,946 --> 01:13:30,698
Oh, dear! What can the matter be?
1385
01:13:30,823 --> 01:13:32,158
(PHONE RINGING)
1386
01:13:32,325 --> 01:13:34,952
Oh, dear! What can the matter be?
1387
01:13:35,119 --> 01:13:38,289
Johnny's so long at the fair
1388
01:13:38,831 --> 01:13:43,628
Joan, I'm sorry I called you a prostitute.
You're not a prostitute. I am.
1389
01:13:43,961 --> 01:13:45,796
You're just a really nice lady.
1390
01:13:46,547 --> 01:13:48,132
(SHUSHING) It's okay.
1391
01:13:51,177 --> 01:13:52,386
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
1392
01:13:59,352 --> 01:14:00,561
- Bill?
- Hey, Ron.
1393
01:14:01,020 --> 01:14:03,564
- Bill? What are you doing here?
- Hey, Tim.
1394
01:14:04,148 --> 01:14:06,484
- Joan.
- The Kroger. I love it.
1395
01:14:06,692 --> 01:14:08,527
Ziegler, Jesus. What the hell is this?
1396
01:14:08,653 --> 01:14:10,780
Some kind of goddamn pajama party
or something?
1397
01:14:10,863 --> 01:14:12,281
No, it's a circle jerk, Bill.
1398
01:14:12,698 --> 01:14:14,283
Drop your pants and grab some lube.
1399
01:14:14,450 --> 01:14:17,453
Oh, that's nice. No, I'm here
to give some good news to someone.
1400
01:14:17,536 --> 01:14:21,415
Orin called me. He tipped me off,
I don't know how the hell you did it,
1401
01:14:22,375 --> 01:14:23,626
but we won.
1402
01:14:23,709 --> 01:14:25,419
And, well, it's the darndest thing,
1403
01:14:25,628 --> 01:14:27,505
it seems like winning four awards in a row
1404
01:14:27,588 --> 01:14:30,049
has made us look pretty attractive
to certain folks.
1405
01:14:30,716 --> 01:14:32,426
Mike Pyle is buying BrownStar.
1406
01:14:32,551 --> 01:14:33,594
You're selling?
1407
01:14:33,970 --> 01:14:35,554
That's why I drove down here.
1408
01:14:35,721 --> 01:14:37,306
Gonna sign the contracts in the morning.
1409
01:14:37,473 --> 01:14:39,892
Boy, it's a super deal, too. Super.
1410
01:14:40,559 --> 01:14:44,981
Only snag is, and you gotta know,
I fought like a goddamn wild cat on this.
1411
01:14:45,147 --> 01:14:48,818
Pyle is shutting down
the Brown Valley office.
1412
01:14:52,446 --> 01:14:53,531
What?
1413
01:14:53,614 --> 01:14:58,160
No, don't worry about it. I got Pyle
to fold you in to the Milwaukee office.
1414
01:14:59,787 --> 01:15:02,081
- Bill...
- No, stop it. Do not thank me.
1415
01:15:02,248 --> 01:15:06,419
Do not thank me. You earned it.
You earned it. it was all you.
1416
01:15:06,669 --> 01:15:09,296
Tell you what, why don't you
get some sleep and we'll talk in the a.m.
1417
01:15:09,422 --> 01:15:11,424
Does that sound good to you?
That's what we'll do.
1418
01:15:11,507 --> 01:15:12,842
All right. Ron.
1419
01:15:26,772 --> 01:15:27,982
(GRUNTS LOUDLY)
1420
01:15:28,482 --> 01:15:29,775
(RINGING)
1421
01:15:36,365 --> 01:15:37,450
Hello?
1422
01:15:37,533 --> 01:15:39,952
Hey, Kurt Gambsky, it's Tim Lippe.
1423
01:15:40,036 --> 01:15:41,704
Hey. It's Tim Lippe.
1424
01:15:42,038 --> 01:15:45,041
I am awful sorry to bother you at this hour,
1425
01:15:45,791 --> 01:15:49,378
but, Kurt, I have to ask you something.
1426
01:15:52,214 --> 01:15:55,468
I'm sorry to call you so late.
I'm calling on behalf of Tim Lippe.
1427
01:15:55,551 --> 01:15:57,636
Oh, Tim Lippe, yes. Go ahead.
1428
01:15:57,970 --> 01:15:59,305
I'm not selling anything,
1429
01:15:59,388 --> 01:16:01,807
I just wanna explain something to you
for two minutes.
1430
01:16:01,891 --> 01:16:02,933
Do you have two minutes?
1431
01:16:03,017 --> 01:16:04,060
Of course.
1432
01:16:04,143 --> 01:16:06,937
Well, he certainly values you as a customer
and I was just wondering,
1433
01:16:07,021 --> 01:16:09,648
if he needed to reach out to you,
would you be willing to help him out?
1434
01:16:09,732 --> 01:16:11,150
You bet. Tim rocks.
1435
01:16:19,325 --> 01:16:20,367
Here we go.
1436
01:16:21,077 --> 01:16:25,831
It is my privilege to announce
the Two Diamond winner,
1437
01:16:26,582 --> 01:16:28,959
our friends from BrownStar Insurance,
1438
01:16:29,043 --> 01:16:31,003
Bill Krogstad, I see you there.
Come on, come on.
1439
01:16:31,921 --> 01:16:34,507
Front row, he's in the front row.
Let's hear it for him.
1440
01:16:34,590 --> 01:16:37,676
Oh, man, this is great. Thanks, Orin.
1441
01:16:37,760 --> 01:16:39,220
This is so great.
1442
01:16:39,512 --> 01:16:42,181
I think this is kind of
a bittersweet honor, folks,
1443
01:16:42,264 --> 01:16:47,853
because, after 25-plus years,
I'm gonna be selling BrownStar.
1444
01:16:48,104 --> 01:16:50,689
Yeah, to this son of a gun right here,
Mike Pyle.
1445
01:16:50,773 --> 01:16:52,108
Let's hear it for him.
Come on up here, Mike.
1446
01:16:59,281 --> 01:17:04,078
Bill and I wanted to take this opportunity
to finally put pen to paper on our deal.
1447
01:17:04,370 --> 01:17:05,788
Guys, hold on a minute.
1448
01:17:07,456 --> 01:17:08,707
Tim Lippe, everyone.
1449
01:17:11,043 --> 01:17:12,044
Hi, everyone.
1450
01:17:13,712 --> 01:17:16,882
As you just heard,
Mike Pyle wants to buy BrownStar,
1451
01:17:17,550 --> 01:17:20,052
but only if it's
a Two Diamond rated agency.
1452
01:17:20,386 --> 01:17:23,556
And for good reason,
because the Two Diamond Award
1453
01:17:23,639 --> 01:17:27,601
is synonymous with modesty,
integrity and hard work.
1454
01:17:29,895 --> 01:17:32,231
Which is why it might surprise you
to find out
1455
01:17:33,232 --> 01:17:35,568
what I actually did to win this award.
1456
01:17:36,902 --> 01:17:41,240
I went into my
one-on-one session with Orin
1457
01:17:41,949 --> 01:17:43,742
in the Tiffany Suite,
1458
01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:47,997
and we engaged in a filthy act
1459
01:17:48,747 --> 01:17:51,083
of which I am totally ashamed.
1460
01:17:52,251 --> 01:17:56,839
I let Orin inside of me,
1461
01:17:57,256 --> 01:18:01,260
where he tainted the most sacred
and special part of me.
1462
01:18:02,261 --> 01:18:03,929
(PEOPLE MURMURING)
1463
01:18:05,764 --> 01:18:07,600
Of course, I'm talking about my integrity,
1464
01:18:07,683 --> 01:18:09,101
(ALL SIGH IN RELIEF)
1465
01:18:09,476 --> 01:18:10,811
which I thought was priceless,
1466
01:18:10,936 --> 01:18:14,106
but turns out it's only worth $1,500
1467
01:18:14,190 --> 01:18:16,692
because that's what I paid Orin
to get this award.
1468
01:18:16,859 --> 01:18:19,320
(LAUGHS) Tim, I think
there's some mistake here.
1469
01:18:19,445 --> 01:18:20,446
No mistake.
1470
01:18:20,529 --> 01:18:23,157
No, I think I have receipts
for the back dues.
1471
01:18:23,282 --> 01:18:24,950
You can't hide from the truth, Orin.
1472
01:18:27,369 --> 01:18:28,996
When I got to Cedar Rapids,
1473
01:18:29,121 --> 01:18:31,165
I was scared
and I trusted the wrong people.
1474
01:18:31,290 --> 01:18:33,375
I thought,
because I was from a small town,
1475
01:18:33,459 --> 01:18:34,960
I couldn't think for myself.
1476
01:18:35,127 --> 01:18:36,879
Boy, was that a mistake.
1477
01:18:37,713 --> 01:18:40,674
ASMI deserves an award
that actually stands for something,
1478
01:18:40,799 --> 01:18:43,844
and I just hope that by the time
I come back next year,
1479
01:18:44,470 --> 01:18:49,683
maybe I will have shown you that I really
understand what that means again.
1480
01:18:53,812 --> 01:18:54,855
I'm really sorry.
1481
01:19:03,322 --> 01:19:05,866
- Hey, Bill, the award was part of the deal.
- I know that.
1482
01:19:05,991 --> 01:19:08,327
This is a problem. We got a real mess here.
1483
01:19:08,744 --> 01:19:09,870
BILL: Nothing I can't change.
1484
01:19:10,162 --> 01:19:12,248
You don't have the award. A deal is a deal.
1485
01:19:12,331 --> 01:19:13,540
It's right there.
You just saw him give it to me.
1486
01:19:13,666 --> 01:19:15,167
- What are you talking about?
- This is a no go.
1487
01:19:15,834 --> 01:19:17,002
This is a no go.
1488
01:19:17,544 --> 01:19:18,963
I'm proud of you, Tim.
1489
01:19:19,046 --> 01:19:20,130
That was the right thing to do.
1490
01:19:20,214 --> 01:19:22,424
Lippe, you freaking goofy bastard.
1491
01:19:22,675 --> 01:19:24,927
After all I did for you, how dare you?
1492
01:19:25,427 --> 01:19:27,096
You fucked up a great deal.
1493
01:19:27,179 --> 01:19:29,515
No, that wasn't a good deal.
It was a dirty deal.
1494
01:19:30,516 --> 01:19:32,851
You lied. Sold us down the river.
1495
01:19:33,018 --> 01:19:34,895
And you know what? I've had enough of it.
1496
01:19:35,688 --> 01:19:38,065
I called a bunch of my clients last night.
They all said the same thing.
1497
01:19:38,190 --> 01:19:40,776
They said they trust me,
and they want to stick by me,
1498
01:19:40,901 --> 01:19:42,278
and I wanna stick by them.
1499
01:19:42,444 --> 01:19:45,531
I'm gonna try to make a go of this
on my own in Brown Valley.
1500
01:19:46,031 --> 01:19:47,157
You listen to me, kid.
1501
01:19:47,241 --> 01:19:49,910
This is my company and I'm selling it.
1502
01:19:51,578 --> 01:19:53,539
All right, well, you'll have to
do it without my clients.
1503
01:19:54,290 --> 01:19:56,375
I've already got 17 of them
committed to me in writing.
1504
01:19:56,542 --> 01:19:59,211
(LAUGHS) Oh, yeah? Really?
We'll see about that.
1505
01:19:59,378 --> 01:20:02,381
It's squeaky clean, Bill.
I've got the faxes right here.
1506
01:20:07,386 --> 01:20:08,887
Son of a bitch!
1507
01:20:16,270 --> 01:20:18,397
- You did it.
- That's fighting the tiger.
1508
01:20:19,231 --> 01:20:20,399
- Wow.
- Right there.
1509
01:20:20,733 --> 01:20:23,068
Let's get this guy a cream sherry,
tout de suite.
1510
01:20:23,235 --> 01:20:24,320
Way to stand them down.
1511
01:20:24,403 --> 01:20:26,739
TIM: I feel like I'm gonna throw up.
ZIEGLER: That was awesome.
1512
01:20:30,326 --> 01:20:31,577
Here you are, Mr. Lippe.
1513
01:20:32,286 --> 01:20:33,412
Thank you.
1514
01:20:33,495 --> 01:20:34,580
Knock, knock.
1515
01:20:35,914 --> 01:20:36,999
Who's there?
1516
01:20:37,082 --> 01:20:39,710
I don't know.
I'm too doggone tired to answer the door.
1517
01:20:39,793 --> 01:20:40,919
(LAUGHING)
1518
01:20:41,003 --> 01:20:44,173
I love it. Classic Ronimal.
Almost not a joke.
1519
01:20:45,674 --> 01:20:47,593
I'll tell you what, guys.
1520
01:20:47,926 --> 01:20:50,679
My cousin Bob, who is loaded by the way,
1521
01:20:50,929 --> 01:20:53,682
has a cottage in Lake of the Woods
in Canada.
1522
01:20:55,267 --> 01:20:58,187
This summer, the three of us.
What do you say?
1523
01:20:58,270 --> 01:21:00,481
More time in a tightly enclosed space
with Ziegler.
1524
01:21:00,606 --> 01:21:01,648
Sign me up.
1525
01:21:02,107 --> 01:21:03,984
I think it sounds like an awesome idea.
1526
01:21:04,276 --> 01:21:06,653
Actually, the Ronimal could use a vacation.
1527
01:21:06,779 --> 01:21:08,614
Done and done.
1528
01:21:09,156 --> 01:21:10,282
Give me some sugar.
1529
01:21:10,949 --> 01:21:14,286
- Oh!
- Come on, Timbo. I love you, pal.
1530
01:21:19,124 --> 01:21:21,877
There she is. The belle of the ball.
1531
01:21:23,003 --> 01:21:24,963
Until the next ASMI, my dear.
1532
01:21:25,714 --> 01:21:26,924
Bye, Deanne.
1533
01:21:27,007 --> 01:21:28,175
Stay fOXY-
1534
01:21:29,134 --> 01:21:30,177
Call you tomorrow, Timbo.
1535
01:21:31,387 --> 01:21:32,971
- Bye, Ron.
- Bye-bye.
1536
01:21:34,640 --> 01:21:35,974
- See you, Ronimal.
- Bye.
1537
01:21:39,478 --> 01:21:41,855
So, you keep in touch.
1538
01:21:42,689 --> 01:21:46,318
- E-mail, all that good stuff.
- Yeah, I will. Of course.
1539
01:21:54,410 --> 01:21:55,869
Thanks, Insurance Man.
1540
01:21:56,829 --> 01:21:57,996
For what?
1541
01:21:59,832 --> 01:22:01,041
For a good time.
1542
01:22:32,698 --> 01:22:33,740
Oh, hey, you.
1543
01:22:34,700 --> 01:22:35,742
Jeez, what happened?
1544
01:22:35,868 --> 01:22:37,578
Well, let's see.
1545
01:22:39,079 --> 01:22:44,376
I got beat up, and I got
completely blotto on drugs and alcohol,
1546
01:22:44,710 --> 01:22:46,879
and I befriended a prostitute.
1547
01:22:48,297 --> 01:22:49,465
It was awesome.
1548
01:22:49,631 --> 01:22:53,135
Well, I guess someone deserves two bags
of honey roasted peanuts.
1549
01:22:53,635 --> 01:22:54,928
Wow, thanks, Sherri.
1550
01:22:55,053 --> 01:22:56,930
You bet. See you next time.
1551
01:22:59,391 --> 01:23:00,559
Two bags.
1552
01:23:03,729 --> 01:23:04,813
Awesome.
1553
01:23:15,908 --> 01:23:19,411
Why did the psychoanalyst prescribe
anxiety drugs to the anxious doctor?
1554
01:23:20,954 --> 01:23:21,997
I don't know.
1555
01:23:22,080 --> 01:23:23,832
Because he had no patience.
1556
01:23:23,916 --> 01:23:25,125
(LAUGHING)
1557
01:23:25,250 --> 01:23:26,793
- Okay. Ouch!
- Okay.
1558
01:23:27,085 --> 01:23:29,755
- That was painful.
- Okay, what's brown and sticky?
1559
01:23:31,089 --> 01:23:32,090
- I don't know.
- ZIEGLER: What?
1560
01:23:32,257 --> 01:23:33,592
A stick.
1561
01:23:35,844 --> 01:23:39,431
What do you call an anorexic
with a yeast infection?
1562
01:23:40,807 --> 01:23:42,267
A quarter-pounder with cheese.
1563
01:23:42,935 --> 01:23:44,144
- Oh, man.
- That's gross.
1564
01:23:44,269 --> 01:23:45,437
That's terrible, man.
1565
01:23:45,521 --> 01:23:49,149
- Yes, you can.
- No, you can't. I've heard...
1566
01:23:49,274 --> 01:23:51,151
No, it's not a wives tale. You can.
1567
01:23:51,276 --> 01:23:52,653
No, you can't really do that.
1568
01:23:52,778 --> 01:23:55,072
The flame would go up
into your bottom and...
1569
01:23:55,155 --> 01:23:56,281
No, no, listen.
1570
01:23:56,448 --> 01:23:57,658
-...blow you up or something.
- You know what?
1571
01:23:57,783 --> 01:24:00,994
I got one in the chamber right now.
I got one right now.
1572
01:24:03,121 --> 01:24:04,790
(SCREAMS) Oh, my gosh.
1573
01:24:04,998 --> 01:24:06,458
(EXCLAIMING)
1574
01:24:06,792 --> 01:24:08,627
ZIEGLER: It went back up there a little bit.
1575
01:24:16,635 --> 01:24:18,136
Hi, I'm Dean Ziegler.
1576
01:24:18,720 --> 01:24:20,514
Hi, I'm Ronald Wilkes.
1577
01:24:20,639 --> 01:24:22,558
And I'm Tim Lippe.
1578
01:24:22,808 --> 01:24:24,768
There are a lot of risks out there today.
1579
01:24:24,851 --> 01:24:26,979
Which is why you
need insurance from the best.
1580
01:24:27,145 --> 01:24:29,231
If you live in Wisconsin or Minnesota,
1581
01:24:29,481 --> 01:24:32,484
Top Notch Mutual
has your insurance needs covered.
1582
01:24:32,859 --> 01:24:34,987
Because, no matter what happens...
1583
01:24:36,655 --> 01:24:37,698
(SCREAMS)
1584
01:24:39,157 --> 01:24:40,242
- We got you.
- We got you.
1585
01:24:42,244 --> 01:24:43,370
(SCREAMS)
1586
01:24:44,162 --> 01:24:45,330
- We got you.
- We got you.
1587
01:24:45,664 --> 01:24:46,915
(ALL SCREAMING)
1588
01:24:50,502 --> 01:24:51,920
Don't worry, little girl.
1589
01:24:52,254 --> 01:24:53,422
- We got you.
- We got you.
1590
01:24:54,006 --> 01:24:55,507
Remember, call anytime...
1591
01:24:55,674 --> 01:24:57,551
- Day or night.
- Because no matter what...
1592
01:25:00,012 --> 01:25:01,179
(SCREAMS)
1593
01:25:02,014 --> 01:25:04,349
- We got you.
- We got you.
1594
01:25:06,018 --> 01:25:07,060
(BREAK MY STRIDE PLAYING)
1595
01:25:11,023 --> 01:25:14,818
Last night I had the strangest dream
1596
01:25:14,901 --> 01:25:19,114
I sailed away to China
In a little row boat to find ya
1597
01:25:19,197 --> 01:25:23,368
And you said you had to get
your laundry cleaned
1598
01:25:23,660 --> 01:25:25,454
Didn't want no one to hold you
1599
01:25:25,537 --> 01:25:27,914
What does that mean?
And you said...
1600
01:25:27,998 --> 01:25:30,125
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride
1601
01:25:30,208 --> 01:25:33,920
Nobody gonna slow me down
Oh, no
1602
01:25:34,004 --> 01:25:36,590
I've got to keep on movin'
1603
01:25:36,673 --> 01:25:38,800
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride
1604
01:25:38,884 --> 01:25:42,638
I'm runnin' and I won't touch ground
Oh, no
1605
01:25:42,721 --> 01:25:45,349
I've got to keep on movin'
1606
01:25:45,432 --> 01:25:49,728
You're on the road and now you pray it lasts
1607
01:25:49,811 --> 01:25:54,066
The road behind was rocky,
but now you're feelin' cocky
1608
01:25:54,149 --> 01:25:58,195
You look at me and you see your past
1609
01:25:58,570 --> 01:26:02,032
Is that the reason why you're runnin' so fast
1610
01:26:02,866 --> 01:26:05,202
Never let another girl like you
1611
01:26:05,285 --> 01:26:07,162
Work me over
1612
01:26:07,245 --> 01:26:09,539
Never let another girl like you
1613
01:26:09,623 --> 01:26:11,500
Drag me under
1614
01:26:11,583 --> 01:26:13,877
If I meet another girl like you
1615
01:26:13,960 --> 01:26:15,837
I Will tell her
1616
01:26:15,921 --> 01:26:17,714
Never want another girl like you
1617
01:26:17,798 --> 01:26:20,217
Have to say, oh
1618
01:26:20,300 --> 01:26:22,344
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride
1619
01:26:22,427 --> 01:26:26,181
Nobody gonna slow me down
Oh, no
1620
01:26:26,264 --> 01:26:28,892
I've got to keep on movin'
1621
01:26:28,975 --> 01:26:31,103
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride
1622
01:26:31,186 --> 01:26:34,856
I'm runnin' and I won't touch ground
Oh, no
1623
01:26:34,940 --> 01:26:37,609
I've got to keep on movin'
1624
01:26:37,943 --> 01:26:39,820
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride
1625
01:26:39,903 --> 01:26:43,615
Nobody gonna slow me down
Oh, no
1626
01:26:43,699 --> 01:26:46,326
I've got to keep on movin'
1627
01:26:46,410 --> 01:26:48,537
Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride
1628
01:26:48,620 --> 01:26:52,165
I'm runnin' and I won't touch ground
Oh, no
1629
01:26:53,709 --> 01:26:54,751