1 00:00:42,824 --> 00:00:46,559 COCKEREL CROWS 2 00:01:56,025 --> 00:02:01,003 'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest girls in nasty situations.' 3 00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,619 SONG: I Have A Dream by Abba 4 00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:22,395 ♪ I have a dream 5 00:02:22,520 --> 00:02:26,781 ♪ A song to sing 6 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:34,434 ♪ To help me cope with anything 7 00:02:36,920 --> 00:02:44,384 ♪ And my destination makes it worthwhile 8 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:49,239 ♪ Pushing through the darkness 9 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:54,039 ♪ Still another mile 10 00:02:55,120 --> 00:02:59,119 ♪ I believe in angels 11 00:02:59,640 --> 00:03:04,033 ♪ Something good in everything I see 12 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,839 ♪ I believe in angels 13 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:12,839 ♪ When I know the time is right for me 14 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:17,119 ♪ I'll cross the stream 15 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:21,239 ♪ I have a dream 16 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:33,959 ♪ I have a dream... ♪ 17 00:03:36,958 --> 00:03:39,234 'Let's play Botherguts!' 18 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:59,879 VIOLIN PLAYS 19 00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:11,369 'Hey, come on! 20 00:04:11,494 --> 00:04:14,378 'Three, two, one! 21 00:04:14,695 --> 00:04:18,879 'Go! Whoo-hoo! 22 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:22,992 'Chuck her a bun! 23 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:30,599 'Not hungry?! That's a first, hey?! 24 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,078 'Come on! 25 00:04:40,034 --> 00:04:41,339 'That'd hurt! 26 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:47,359 (LAUGHS) Brilliant! 27 00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:53,639 (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) 28 00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,437 Ah, fucking brilliant, that! 29 00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:39,239 Um, that one does that sometimes. Hang on. 30 00:05:40,412 --> 00:05:43,239 There's a little knob in here somewhere. 31 00:05:45,514 --> 00:05:47,628 Almost the only real thing in there, 32 00:05:47,644 --> 00:05:49,899 and even that's grown in a Petri dish. 33 00:05:51,115 --> 00:05:52,421 Thank you. 34 00:06:04,920 --> 00:06:08,919 VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS 35 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:31,959 SEXY MUSIC PLAYS 36 00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:35,959 'Hmm. Oh, ah. 37 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,757 'Hmm. Licking my pussy.' 38 00:06:39,924 --> 00:06:42,000 Oh, for Christ's sake! 39 00:06:42,764 --> 00:06:45,799 Way to mood-kill, blubbernaut! Cheers for the reflection! 40 00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:48,616 One minute I'm in slitsville, the next there's a haunted pig 41 00:06:48,629 --> 00:06:52,069 gawping at me. They may as well have cut to a war crime! 42 00:06:53,523 --> 00:06:54,832 Oi! 43 00:06:59,096 --> 00:07:00,399 You missed a bit. 44 00:07:00,678 --> 00:07:02,630 (LAUGHS) 45 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:04,269 Pie ape! 46 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,310 You see that? 47 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,183 Fucking pie ape! 48 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,439 (MAN COUGHS) 49 00:07:16,043 --> 00:07:18,799 (LAUGHS) 50 00:07:19,984 --> 00:07:22,799 He'll be in lemon and all before long! 51 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,385 GUNSHOTS 52 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:51,279 'Selma Telse.' 53 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,199 ♪ Destination! ♪ 54 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:54,957 'Howie Mandelbrot.' 55 00:07:56,182 --> 00:07:57,582 'Toy Soldiers' 56 00:08:02,991 --> 00:08:07,455 'Each headlines their own content on one of your eight daylight streams. 57 00:08:07,880 --> 00:08:11,353 'But they started here, like you. 58 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:14,921 'Putting their back into giving back for a brighter now. 59 00:08:16,050 --> 00:08:21,273 'Each paying their dues like you, hoping to become a hot shot.' 60 00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:26,199 ♪ Pushing through the darkness. 61 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:30,399 ♪ Still another mile. ♪ 62 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:31,808 'That wasn't good... 63 00:08:33,799 --> 00:08:37,654 '..that was beyond incredible!' 64 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:41,355 ♪ I believe in angels... ♪ 65 00:08:42,018 --> 00:08:45,675 'You decide the victors, you control their fates, 66 00:08:45,974 --> 00:08:49,157 'you make the call on Hot Shots. 67 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,519 ♪ I believe in angels 68 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:56,519 ♪ When I know the time is right for me... ♪ 69 00:09:06,193 --> 00:09:11,552 'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest girls in the nastiest situations. 70 00:09:11,570 --> 00:09:13,999 'So let's view it.' 71 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:16,639 'Resume viewing. Resume viewing. 72 00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,879 'Resume viewing. 73 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,399 'Resume viewing. Resume viewing. 74 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,439 'Resume viewing. 75 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:25,439 'Resume viewing. Resume viewing. 76 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,679 'Resume viewing.' 77 00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:31,679 SEXY MUSIC 78 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,947 'You are going to see it all.' 79 00:09:35,367 --> 00:09:38,252 'Exclusively on Wraith Babes XL. 80 00:09:41,240 --> 00:09:44,475 'Hey, what else were you planning to do with that hand?' 81 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,039 'You lick my pussy, baby. 82 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:47,799 'Oh, I turn you on! 83 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,121 'Oh!' 84 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,239 'Hi, I'm Roxy, hello. 85 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:55,723 'Hi, I'm Evie.' 86 00:10:11,509 --> 00:10:15,119 COCKEREL CROWS 87 00:10:37,200 --> 00:10:39,665 LIFT BINGS 88 00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:17,799 Didn't let him sign in. 89 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:20,088 Told him to report to 22 down. 90 00:11:20,563 --> 00:11:21,906 Told ya! 91 00:11:22,571 --> 00:11:25,083 He's gone lemon, the lazy fuck! 92 00:12:03,081 --> 00:12:04,400 What do you think? 93 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,437 It's a bit much. 94 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:12,469 Yeah. 95 00:12:20,818 --> 00:12:23,889 'Best thing about my new lifestyle? Um, where do I start? 96 00:12:24,581 --> 00:12:28,088 'I love choosing my own clothes and I love gold. 97 00:12:28,722 --> 00:12:31,433 'I feel like it really expresses who I really am 98 00:12:32,004 --> 00:12:34,319 'and I love looking over outside. 99 00:12:34,558 --> 00:12:37,759 'It's so beautiful sometimes, I just wish that everyone could see it.' 100 00:12:37,884 --> 00:12:39,594 Oh, nice outfit(!) 101 00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:42,879 Suits you. (LAUGHS) 102 00:12:44,686 --> 00:12:48,429 'Well, honesty is ruthless so I suppose it's just honesty... 103 00:12:49,243 --> 00:12:50,561 'ruthless honesty.' 104 00:12:52,461 --> 00:12:54,376 URINATING 105 00:12:55,587 --> 00:12:57,527 ♪ You can blame me 106 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,789 ♪ Try to shame me 107 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:06,119 ♪ Still long to have you 108 00:13:07,891 --> 00:13:12,617 ♪ The world may think I'm foolish 109 00:13:13,524 --> 00:13:16,037 ♪ They can't see you 110 00:13:17,281 --> 00:13:19,096 ♪ Like I can 111 00:13:20,114 --> 00:13:22,800 ♪ Oh, but anyone 112 00:13:24,247 --> 00:13:26,224 ♪ Who knows what love is 113 00:13:27,908 --> 00:13:31,365 ♪ Will understand 114 00:14:07,581 --> 00:14:09,111 Drying my hands. 115 00:14:10,778 --> 00:14:12,084 Impressive. 116 00:14:12,584 --> 00:14:15,083 (MAN SPITS AND FARTS) 117 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:21,039 Have fun... 118 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,647 I mean, on the... 119 00:14:26,622 --> 00:14:28,239 'Hey, regular user! 120 00:14:28,364 --> 00:14:33,407 'New from Wraith Babes, the hottest girls in the nastiest situation. 121 00:14:33,532 --> 00:14:34,855 'Select view... ' 122 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:52,848 Dick. 123 00:15:04,836 --> 00:15:08,156 (GUNSHOT NOISES) 124 00:15:08,961 --> 00:15:13,201 GUNFIRE 125 00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:14,817 Detritus. Sorry. 126 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:41,997 (MUMBLES) 127 00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:46,503 ♪ Who knows what love is? 128 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,199 ♪ We'll understand 129 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:58,919 ♪ To do... LOUD MUSIC AND VOICEOVER 130 00:17:05,600 --> 00:17:06,921 AUDIO STOPS 131 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:10,986 ♪ Any more 132 00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:15,556 ♪ Who knows what love is? 133 00:17:17,717 --> 00:17:20,416 ♪ We'll understand. ♪ 134 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,635 MACHINE BEEPS 135 00:17:29,974 --> 00:17:31,155 Come on! 136 00:17:31,156 --> 00:17:32,799 Wait. There's a knack to it. 137 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,217 - You'll take your fingers off. - Trust me. 138 00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:37,886 ITEM DROPS INSIDE MACHINE 139 00:17:38,960 --> 00:17:40,269 Smart. 140 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:45,583 Bing Manson. 141 00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:47,479 Short for Bingham. 142 00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:49,528 Abi Carner. 143 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,159 Short for Abi Carner. 144 00:17:53,018 --> 00:17:55,331 You're a new person. I've not seen you. 145 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,483 I just went 21 last week. 146 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:00,900 I wanted to go to Airdale My sister's there, but... 147 00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,401 It's full, apparently. 148 00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:09,314 Proper fruit. It was worth the risk. 149 00:18:10,040 --> 00:18:13,450 The most natural thing in there's probably grown in a Petri dish. 150 00:18:15,040 --> 00:18:16,346 Yeah. 151 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,275 Quite good, though. 152 00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:20,039 Yeah. That's the right way round. 153 00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:22,919 When you get the cheap one, you end up having to pedal it off. 154 00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:26,199 Then you want more sugar. Then you're playing catch-up and I've... 155 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,088 I've been there. It's a vicious circle. 156 00:18:31,547 --> 00:18:33,475 Can't you just use that CPT app? 157 00:18:33,485 --> 00:18:34,803 What's that? 158 00:18:35,164 --> 00:18:37,399 This cognitive behavioural thing. 159 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:40,090 It realigns your thinking to pick healthy food. 160 00:18:40,770 --> 00:18:42,934 Whispers you into it while you sleep. 161 00:18:45,079 --> 00:18:47,131 Yeah, I should try that, yeah. 162 00:18:53,929 --> 00:18:55,819 I liked your singing the other day. 163 00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:02,106 I was trying to sing so no-one could hear me pee. 164 00:19:02,436 --> 00:19:03,959 I'm not Selma or anything. 165 00:19:03,960 --> 00:19:07,959 You've got a phenomenal voice. It was the most beautiful song... 166 00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:13,032 Y... You think I'm being cheesy? 167 00:19:15,760 --> 00:19:18,177 All right, I am being cheesy. 168 00:19:18,202 --> 00:19:20,477 But it was beautiful, so, you know... 169 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,601 Reality's cheesy sometimes. Not often, admittedly, but... 170 00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:27,830 Now. 171 00:19:29,080 --> 00:19:30,414 Yeah... 172 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:38,749 Well, thank you. 173 00:19:43,034 --> 00:19:44,663 It's just noises, though. 174 00:19:45,409 --> 00:19:46,951 Noises in the right order. 175 00:19:46,976 --> 00:19:48,399 Don't downplay... you're good. 176 00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,853 The song's good. It's old. 177 00:19:53,246 --> 00:19:56,828 My mum used to sing it and she learnt it from her mum. 178 00:19:57,719 --> 00:19:59,024 A hand-me-down. 179 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:04,263 You thought of trying out for Hot Shot? 180 00:20:04,511 --> 00:20:07,260 (LAUGHS) Me? 181 00:20:07,726 --> 00:20:09,039 Why not? 182 00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:10,738 Singing in front of Judge Hope? 183 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:14,359 I'd die! Seriously, I'd be halfway to the afterlife come the chorus. 184 00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:15,554 No, you'd walk it. 185 00:20:15,566 --> 00:20:16,783 A) I wouldn't. 186 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:20,986 And B)... I don't have that clockage. 187 00:20:21,708 --> 00:20:24,239 It's, what, 12 mil just to enter? 188 00:20:24,283 --> 00:20:26,519 What kind of bike time is that? Six months? 189 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,839 - Yeah, but... - I'm hand to mouth. 190 00:20:28,840 --> 00:20:32,859 I know people save and stuff to get onto that stage 191 00:20:32,873 --> 00:20:35,477 and then there's what Selma did. But, you know what? 192 00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:38,866 - I'd rather not give myself... - Yeah, but I'll gift it to you. 193 00:20:41,503 --> 00:20:43,181 The full 12, I'll gift it. 194 00:20:49,528 --> 00:20:50,919 Don't be ridiculous! 195 00:20:51,435 --> 00:20:53,263 Seriously, I've got it spare. 196 00:20:53,680 --> 00:20:55,739 You've got 12 mil spare? 197 00:20:56,406 --> 00:20:57,886 My brother left it me. 198 00:20:58,520 --> 00:21:00,435 Own a channel, does he? 199 00:21:00,717 --> 00:21:02,023 No, he... 200 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:03,789 He died. 201 00:21:05,670 --> 00:21:09,028 He... He died last year, 202 00:21:09,524 --> 00:21:11,104 so it got transferred to me. 203 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:14,252 Just over six months' worth, but I've kept it. 204 00:21:16,797 --> 00:21:18,649 Why don't you spend it on you, then? 205 00:21:18,661 --> 00:21:21,472 And buy what? Some new shoes for my doppel to wear? 206 00:21:22,784 --> 00:21:25,439 I don't know, upgrade your MOS... 207 00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,433 Or get a Fat Attack season pass? 208 00:21:28,493 --> 00:21:30,319 Buy one of those wall buddies. 209 00:21:30,329 --> 00:21:33,737 The new ones that talk to you after shutting and solve your problems. 210 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:37,744 They guide your dreams, like gurus. It's amazing, really, what they can do. 211 00:21:37,769 --> 00:21:41,319 A mirror plug-in? That shows me how I look as a werewolf? What's the point? 212 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,563 - I know it can be quite funny. - It's all just stuff. It's... 213 00:21:46,004 --> 00:21:48,668 It's stuff, it's confetti, it's... 214 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,226 You've got something real. 215 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:56,963 What better to spend it on? 216 00:21:57,088 --> 00:21:59,152 You heard me singing in a toilet. 217 00:22:00,533 --> 00:22:01,839 Is that real? 218 00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,318 More than anything that's happened all year. 219 00:22:08,417 --> 00:22:11,029 I can't take that kind of clockage off someone. 220 00:22:12,235 --> 00:22:13,988 It's 12 mils, no way. 221 00:22:14,600 --> 00:22:15,971 Let me do this. 222 00:22:19,337 --> 00:22:21,924 I... I look around here, I just... 223 00:22:23,504 --> 00:22:25,692 I just want something real to happen. 224 00:22:28,344 --> 00:22:29,649 Just once. 225 00:22:32,696 --> 00:22:33,999 I'd mess up. 226 00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:35,844 You wouldn't. I don't care anyway. 227 00:22:36,640 --> 00:22:39,679 I'll go with you. I'll be able to force you. 228 00:22:39,946 --> 00:22:41,575 I'll force you to go. 229 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:44,943 It's tomorrow. 230 00:22:46,791 --> 00:22:48,271 Come on! 231 00:22:54,912 --> 00:22:56,218 Say yes. 232 00:22:59,883 --> 00:23:02,157 I'll go as far as to say, "OK." 233 00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:06,171 Which proves acceptable. 234 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:10,156 Thank God for that. 235 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:15,550 Walking away now. 236 00:23:16,906 --> 00:23:18,211 You loon! 237 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:20,691 I can live with it! 238 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:26,309 (SIGHS) 239 00:23:51,969 --> 00:23:54,145 I'd love to fucking ruin that and all. 240 00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:23,626 What? 241 00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:25,435 15? 242 00:24:29,006 --> 00:24:30,317 A flippin' joke... 243 00:25:05,241 --> 00:25:06,547 (LAUGHS) 244 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,279 LOUD MUSIC AND SOUND EFFECTS 245 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:23,381 'New from Wraith Babes. 246 00:25:23,394 --> 00:25:26,652 'The hottest girls in the nastiest situations.' 247 00:25:27,753 --> 00:25:29,271 Oh, yeah! Ooh! 248 00:25:37,242 --> 00:25:38,573 (SIGHS) 249 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:49,871 Can't believe I'm doing this. 250 00:25:53,087 --> 00:25:54,395 I am doing this. 251 00:25:57,973 --> 00:25:59,304 I can't be doing this. 252 00:25:59,329 --> 00:26:00,846 Can you trade it back? 253 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:02,595 The ticket? 254 00:26:02,888 --> 00:26:03,970 Don't be mad. 255 00:26:04,746 --> 00:26:07,345 It's a lot of pressure to put someone under, you know. 256 00:26:07,369 --> 00:26:10,464 Don't think I'm not grateful. But it's, it's just... 257 00:26:10,489 --> 00:26:11,795 You're babbling. 258 00:26:11,920 --> 00:26:13,390 I'm babbling. 259 00:26:21,738 --> 00:26:23,230 I made you this. 260 00:26:26,787 --> 00:26:30,331 You never get to keep them more than a day, but there it is, anyway. 261 00:26:35,063 --> 00:26:36,294 It folds flat. 262 00:26:36,712 --> 00:26:39,386 So you can keep them in your waistband. 263 00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:44,949 Thank you. 264 00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:51,799 It's, you know... 265 00:26:52,102 --> 00:26:53,407 something. 266 00:27:23,756 --> 00:27:25,197 Face the screen, please. 267 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,599 Is he your Friends And Family allocation? 268 00:27:32,471 --> 00:27:33,777 (Yeah). 269 00:27:34,150 --> 00:27:35,470 Hand, please. 270 00:27:36,713 --> 00:27:37,714 Oh!! 271 00:27:38,136 --> 00:27:39,727 That's not permanent, is it? 272 00:27:39,852 --> 00:27:41,239 Oh, no. Two months max. 273 00:27:41,330 --> 00:27:43,498 Round to the right, and through the scanner. 274 00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:49,146 VOCAL EXERCISES 275 00:28:07,976 --> 00:28:09,284 Where do we go now? 276 00:28:09,916 --> 00:28:11,228 You wait here. 277 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:13,581 How long? 278 00:28:18,242 --> 00:28:19,544 So, what do we do? 279 00:28:19,556 --> 00:28:20,839 I don't know. 280 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:23,775 Hey, hey, hey. Fuck off. 281 00:28:28,643 --> 00:28:30,275 Her with the dark hair? 282 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:32,150 Yeah, yeah, yeah. The pretty one. 283 00:28:33,020 --> 00:28:35,079 Yup. OK. Move. 284 00:28:36,443 --> 00:28:38,088 They want to preview you. 285 00:28:38,785 --> 00:28:40,519 - What? - Preview. Come on. 286 00:28:40,968 --> 00:28:42,523 - He's with me. - Hand? 287 00:28:44,445 --> 00:28:45,768 Show me your hand. 288 00:28:46,297 --> 00:28:47,599 OK. You, too. 289 00:28:47,724 --> 00:28:50,025 That's not fair. She's new. That's not fair. 290 00:28:50,029 --> 00:28:51,539 I don't pick the order. 291 00:28:51,730 --> 00:28:54,268 I've waited here all week, and she's just walked in. 292 00:28:54,347 --> 00:28:58,162 Everyone will get seen eventually. I don't pick the order. 293 00:28:58,170 --> 00:28:59,646 But I'm a good singer. 294 00:28:59,654 --> 00:29:02,270 I can sing. I'm a good singer, I am. 295 00:29:02,271 --> 00:29:04,620 - Stand aside. - It's not fair! 296 00:29:05,690 --> 00:29:06,995 It's not fair! 297 00:29:12,808 --> 00:29:15,084 - Next lot. - Stand there. 298 00:29:19,706 --> 00:29:22,224 Would you like to be as big as Salma one day? 299 00:29:22,589 --> 00:29:25,453 Erm... Yeah, I mean... 300 00:29:25,478 --> 00:29:26,719 Could you say that 301 00:29:26,720 --> 00:29:29,317 as a self-contained sentence into that screen? 302 00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:34,359 I guess I'd like to be as big as Salma one day. 303 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,319 OK. Proceed to stage area. 304 00:29:37,144 --> 00:29:38,450 Are we done? 305 00:29:41,486 --> 00:29:43,525 - Both performing? - Just her. 306 00:29:43,538 --> 00:29:46,159 - Okay... and what are you? - Singer. 307 00:29:46,493 --> 00:29:48,311 - Compliance? - No, thanks. 308 00:29:48,436 --> 00:29:51,536 A-ha. Yes, thanks! It's compulsory for all contestants. 309 00:29:51,549 --> 00:29:54,078 More to the point, it'll stop you puking with nerves. 310 00:29:54,132 --> 00:29:56,328 - She's got to perform. - Well, mmm(!) 311 00:29:56,751 --> 00:29:58,749 Look, just sip it, you'll be fine. 312 00:30:03,363 --> 00:30:05,357 Just a touch of light foam. It'll pass. 313 00:30:05,482 --> 00:30:06,906 Make the most of it. 314 00:30:07,031 --> 00:30:08,877 You can't get this stuff anywhere else. 315 00:30:09,324 --> 00:30:10,879 You OK? Yeah. 316 00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:12,189 You OK? 317 00:30:14,962 --> 00:30:16,277 Yeah. Just, erm... 318 00:30:17,392 --> 00:30:21,399 I don't know. Things are just wider apart. I'm fine. 319 00:30:22,204 --> 00:30:24,765 - Really? - Yeah, I'm fine. 320 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:27,086 Right. You're on. 321 00:30:44,846 --> 00:30:46,413 A little closer, please. 322 00:30:51,146 --> 00:30:52,477 Little closer. 323 00:30:55,688 --> 00:30:57,280 Into the light, love. 324 00:31:05,644 --> 00:31:08,852 - And who're we looking at here? - Abi Khan. 325 00:31:09,486 --> 00:31:11,861 What are you going to do for us today, Abi? 326 00:31:12,446 --> 00:31:13,839 I'm going to sing. 327 00:31:13,840 --> 00:31:15,299 You speak up, love. 328 00:31:15,424 --> 00:31:16,770 We don't bite. 329 00:31:18,386 --> 00:31:19,692 I'm going to sing. 330 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:23,719 Hey, would you mind lifting up your top for me? 331 00:31:25,272 --> 00:31:26,976 Can you take off your top? 332 00:31:26,991 --> 00:31:28,981 I want to check out those titties. 333 00:31:29,106 --> 00:31:30,162 Woo-hoo-hoo! 334 00:31:30,163 --> 00:31:31,471 Oh! 335 00:31:32,528 --> 00:31:34,231 Come on. Mucho feranto. 336 00:31:35,629 --> 00:31:37,258 Ah! No titties? 337 00:31:38,064 --> 00:31:40,203 She says she's here to sing. 338 00:31:40,840 --> 00:31:43,159 I got to see those titties, though. 339 00:31:43,284 --> 00:31:44,679 Come on, girl. 340 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:46,026 I mean, damn! 341 00:31:46,051 --> 00:31:47,399 Heh-heh-heh. 342 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:49,079 You hot. 343 00:31:49,556 --> 00:31:52,018 Please, just sing for us. 344 00:31:58,306 --> 00:31:59,611 ♪ Anyone 345 00:32:02,366 --> 00:32:03,697 ♪ Anyone 346 00:32:05,413 --> 00:32:07,925 ♪ You can blame me 347 00:32:09,924 --> 00:32:12,439 ♪ Try to shame me 348 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:16,439 ♪ And still I'll care for you 349 00:32:21,443 --> 00:32:23,830 ♪ You can run around 350 00:32:25,430 --> 00:32:27,718 ♪ Even put me down 351 00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:32,536 ♪ Still I'll be there for you 352 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:43,090 ♪ The world may think I'm foolish 353 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:47,013 ♪ They can't see you 354 00:32:47,811 --> 00:32:50,155 ♪ Like I can 355 00:32:50,830 --> 00:32:54,279 ♪ Oh, but anyone 356 00:32:55,632 --> 00:32:58,144 ♪ Who knows what love is 357 00:33:00,090 --> 00:33:04,106 ♪ Will understand 358 00:33:08,182 --> 00:33:09,487 ♪ Anyone 359 00:33:11,738 --> 00:33:13,740 ♪ Anyone 360 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:19,398 ♪ I just feel so sorry 361 00:33:21,360 --> 00:33:26,357 ♪ For the ones who pity me 362 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:32,799 ♪ Anyone 363 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:35,519 ♪ Cos they just don't know 364 00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:36,559 ♪ Anyone 365 00:33:36,684 --> 00:33:42,296 ♪ Oh, they don't know What happiness and love can be 366 00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:53,695 ♪ I know I know to ever let you go 367 00:33:53,820 --> 00:33:59,955 ♪ Oh, is more than I could ever stand 368 00:34:00,593 --> 00:34:04,079 ♪ Oh, but anyone 369 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:08,070 ♪ Who knows what love is 370 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:14,517 ♪ Will understand... ♪ 371 00:34:15,361 --> 00:34:17,251 OK. I'm going to stop you there. 372 00:34:18,842 --> 00:34:20,058 That was... 373 00:34:21,143 --> 00:34:22,368 without a doubt... 374 00:34:25,040 --> 00:34:28,839 probably the best piece of singing we've had this season. 375 00:34:29,066 --> 00:34:31,018 Yes! Well done! 376 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:35,319 CHEERING 377 00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:37,549 Fair play. 378 00:34:40,844 --> 00:34:42,399 But I have to say... 379 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:44,411 BOOING 380 00:34:44,536 --> 00:34:46,389 No. No, no, no. I have to say, 381 00:34:47,247 --> 00:34:48,555 actually, 382 00:34:48,569 --> 00:34:50,210 I'm with Rafe on this one. 383 00:34:51,777 --> 00:34:54,319 Good though your voice is... and it is good. 384 00:34:54,831 --> 00:34:57,519 It's not the most magical sound in the world. 385 00:34:57,520 --> 00:34:59,085 It's just... good. 386 00:35:00,336 --> 00:35:03,134 I don't think anyone's really hearing it. 387 00:35:03,259 --> 00:35:05,758 Certainly not the guys in the audience. 388 00:35:06,043 --> 00:35:09,239 These looks you got going on kind of get in the way. 389 00:35:09,736 --> 00:35:12,012 Men will want you. Women will hate you. 390 00:35:12,321 --> 00:35:14,117 All the time you're on stage. 391 00:35:15,442 --> 00:35:17,195 Couldn't help picturing you. 392 00:35:18,125 --> 00:35:19,639 In an erotic scenario. 393 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:20,954 CHEERING 394 00:35:20,967 --> 00:35:23,367 Getting pretty turned on, if I'm honest. 395 00:35:27,240 --> 00:35:28,555 Right. 396 00:35:28,680 --> 00:35:30,364 You've got this pure beauty 397 00:35:31,023 --> 00:35:33,150 What seems to be a knockout figure. 398 00:35:33,846 --> 00:35:36,799 And this sort of interesting innocence going on. 399 00:35:36,809 --> 00:35:39,259 That's something I think Rafe's erotica channels 400 00:35:39,268 --> 00:35:40,919 could really play with. 401 00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,439 Absolutely. That's what I thought 402 00:35:43,440 --> 00:35:44,839 the moment I saw you. 403 00:35:45,017 --> 00:35:46,319 The moment. 404 00:35:46,860 --> 00:35:50,199 I'd watch. I don't know a man here who wouldn't. 405 00:35:50,200 --> 00:35:52,675 To be honest, some of us girls might join you. 406 00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:56,335 CHEERING 407 00:35:56,615 --> 00:35:57,946 Get off me! 408 00:35:58,071 --> 00:35:59,388 Don't! Abi! 409 00:36:00,523 --> 00:36:02,750 No! Abi! Abi! 410 00:36:02,875 --> 00:36:04,879 I don't think that's quite... 411 00:36:07,205 --> 00:36:11,757 You will never have to pedal again. Not one minute. 412 00:36:12,731 --> 00:36:14,945 We could really work with you. 413 00:36:15,070 --> 00:36:18,215 Last year we had singers, singers, singers. 414 00:36:18,576 --> 00:36:19,778 So many singers. 415 00:36:19,803 --> 00:36:22,637 So, to be a singer you have to be truly exceptional 416 00:36:23,123 --> 00:36:26,839 There's just no slots left for an above average singer. 417 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,559 Not for the next few years, at least. Charity? 418 00:36:29,560 --> 00:36:32,442 No. Saturation point, singer-wise. 419 00:36:33,414 --> 00:36:35,615 Listen. We said, right from the start. 420 00:36:35,880 --> 00:36:38,315 We'll go with something different this season. 421 00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:40,355 That's why he's on the panel! 422 00:36:41,039 --> 00:36:44,384 She would be a star on our stream. 423 00:36:44,929 --> 00:36:46,239 A star. 424 00:36:46,891 --> 00:36:48,196 On his... 425 00:36:49,634 --> 00:36:51,279 You're furniture, at best. 426 00:36:51,280 --> 00:36:54,142 Forget about all the shame, and all that ppht-ppht-tew. 427 00:36:54,938 --> 00:36:56,599 We medicate against that. 428 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:58,920 You will have pleasure forever. 429 00:36:59,218 --> 00:37:01,507 Realistically, sweetheart, it is that, 430 00:37:01,840 --> 00:37:03,146 or the bike. 431 00:37:06,596 --> 00:37:07,934 I, I don't think... 432 00:37:07,942 --> 00:37:09,962 This is starting to annoy me. 433 00:37:10,403 --> 00:37:13,511 Who do you think is powering that spotlight? 434 00:37:19,449 --> 00:37:21,401 Millions of people. That's who. 435 00:37:21,886 --> 00:37:24,063 All of them, out there, right now. 436 00:37:25,030 --> 00:37:27,243 Putting in an honest day on the bike, 437 00:37:27,260 --> 00:37:29,730 while you stand in the light they're generating 438 00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:30,913 and dither. 439 00:37:31,271 --> 00:37:32,576 You know what? 440 00:37:32,701 --> 00:37:36,707 They would give anything. Do anything to be where you are now. 441 00:37:37,379 --> 00:37:38,684 Am I right?! 442 00:37:38,809 --> 00:37:41,787 CHEERING 443 00:37:41,912 --> 00:37:45,170 You want to cock a snook at all that, as though it's nothing. 444 00:37:46,962 --> 00:37:48,653 As though they're nothing. 445 00:37:49,640 --> 00:37:51,060 And that makes me sick. 446 00:37:52,320 --> 00:37:53,683 But, you know what? 447 00:37:55,160 --> 00:37:56,911 Maybe you do belong on the bike. 448 00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:00,107 Because you don't seem to be very willing to step off it. 449 00:38:03,166 --> 00:38:04,235 I do want to. 450 00:38:04,247 --> 00:38:05,578 We have a decision? 451 00:38:05,703 --> 00:38:10,679 (CROWD CHANTS) Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 452 00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:25,079 Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 453 00:38:25,080 --> 00:38:29,079 Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it! 454 00:38:40,440 --> 00:38:41,759 I suppose. 455 00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:45,759 CHEERING 456 00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:52,559 Woo-hoo-hoo! Go on! 457 00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:53,865 Well done! 458 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:27,399 MELANCHOLIC MUSIC 459 00:39:56,320 --> 00:40:00,319 BACKGROUND CONVERSATION 460 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,164 Best thing about my new lifestyle... 461 00:40:06,532 --> 00:40:08,235 I get to meet lots of hot guys. 462 00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:12,576 Wraith treats me well. 463 00:40:14,368 --> 00:40:17,119 Oh, for Christ's sake! 464 00:40:17,871 --> 00:40:19,438 I pay for this! 465 00:40:19,823 --> 00:40:22,956 I... pay... for... this! 466 00:40:23,292 --> 00:40:26,786 I pump my arse off, and you... Fuck you! 467 00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:30,639 Yeah, keep waddling, pig tits. 468 00:40:30,991 --> 00:40:33,841 Find your horizon and fuck off over it! 469 00:40:37,303 --> 00:40:38,658 'It's a dream. 470 00:40:39,560 --> 00:40:41,010 'I get to live... 471 00:40:41,404 --> 00:40:42,707 'in a... 472 00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:44,524 'beautiful place. 473 00:40:45,367 --> 00:40:46,673 'And... 474 00:40:47,692 --> 00:40:49,011 'wear lots of... 475 00:40:50,276 --> 00:40:51,582 'beautiful things. 476 00:40:56,640 --> 00:40:57,949 'It's a dream.' 477 00:41:02,640 --> 00:41:06,639 FAIRGROUND-STYLE MUSIC 478 00:41:21,480 --> 00:41:23,319 (COMPUTER) Insufficient funds. 479 00:41:23,565 --> 00:41:25,235 'From Wraith Babes... ' 480 00:41:25,256 --> 00:41:26,561 'C'mon, girl... ' 481 00:41:27,258 --> 00:41:29,707 '..a Wraith Babes reality special.' 482 00:41:30,640 --> 00:41:33,050 I guess I'd like to be as big as Thelma one day. 483 00:41:33,997 --> 00:41:37,690 'Millions watched her glide through the Hot Shot curtain of dreams 484 00:41:37,715 --> 00:41:39,435 'to sing her heart out.' 485 00:41:40,073 --> 00:41:43,144 ♪ Oh, but anyone... ♪ 486 00:41:43,269 --> 00:41:46,319 'What happened next shocked them all.' 487 00:41:46,444 --> 00:41:48,119 We could really work with you. 488 00:41:48,490 --> 00:41:49,846 Do we have a decision? 489 00:41:50,405 --> 00:41:53,835 'Now, watch her stunning erotic debut... ' 490 00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:57,799 ♪ PHARELL WILLIAMS: Lapdance 491 00:41:57,800 --> 00:41:59,218 No, no, no, no, no... 492 00:42:00,263 --> 00:42:02,039 'So, who do we have here?' 493 00:42:02,857 --> 00:42:04,159 I'm Abby. 494 00:42:04,775 --> 00:42:06,279 'You were at Hot Shot. 495 00:42:07,235 --> 00:42:09,449 'You were real impressive.' 496 00:42:12,163 --> 00:42:13,519 BEEPING 497 00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:15,239 (COMPUTER) Resume viewing! 498 00:42:15,240 --> 00:42:17,399 - No! No! - Resume viewing! 499 00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:18,839 Resume viewing! 500 00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:20,159 Resume viewing! Resume viewing! 501 00:42:20,160 --> 00:42:21,879 Resume viewing! Resume viewing! Resume viewing! 502 00:42:21,880 --> 00:42:25,239 Resume viewing! 503 00:42:25,240 --> 00:42:26,537 'Look at you. 504 00:42:27,018 --> 00:42:28,957 'All clean and shiny.' 505 00:42:29,347 --> 00:42:31,286 BEEPING 506 00:42:31,374 --> 00:42:33,666 (COMPUTER) Portal disabled during commercial. 507 00:42:33,697 --> 00:42:35,919 'You'll see everything. 508 00:42:36,044 --> 00:42:37,901 'You'll see it all! 509 00:42:38,425 --> 00:42:40,017 'Open your mouth. 510 00:42:40,427 --> 00:42:42,603 'Open... take it in... 511 00:42:43,192 --> 00:42:46,326 'take it in... ahh... yeah... 512 00:42:46,451 --> 00:42:48,043 Aaarrghhh! 513 00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:52,479 No! No! No! No! 514 00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:25,559 (MALE HEAVY BREATHING) 515 00:43:31,400 --> 00:43:35,399 (ABBY MOANING) 516 00:44:22,240 --> 00:44:26,877 (ABBY SINGING FAINTLY) 517 00:45:03,192 --> 00:45:06,238 (TV) 'The hottest girls... ' 518 00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:50,479 MANIC LAUGHTER 519 00:45:50,480 --> 00:45:54,279 MANIC GIGGLING 520 00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:58,279 CRAZED LAUGHTER CONTINUES 521 00:47:08,040 --> 00:47:12,039 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 522 00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:40,399 PARTY MUSIC ECHOES INDISTINCTLY 523 00:48:43,858 --> 00:48:46,134 Could you stand aside, please? 524 00:48:49,024 --> 00:48:52,037 Come up into the back, in front of me, please. 525 00:48:52,162 --> 00:48:53,698 Are you messin'? 526 00:49:00,600 --> 00:49:01,929 A what-nic one? 527 00:49:02,716 --> 00:49:05,427 Oh, an eth-nic one! Aah! 528 00:49:06,960 --> 00:49:08,270 On it. 529 00:49:08,848 --> 00:49:12,243 We're going to preview, all right? Want to follow me in the back? 530 00:49:13,080 --> 00:49:14,575 You're a prick! 531 00:49:18,560 --> 00:49:19,894 Next, lot. 532 00:49:20,897 --> 00:49:22,203 Stand there! 533 00:49:25,966 --> 00:49:27,866 So what are you, a magician? 534 00:49:28,820 --> 00:49:30,076 An entertainer. 535 00:49:30,100 --> 00:49:34,359 Could you say that down the screen as a self-contained sentence? 536 00:49:35,600 --> 00:49:39,599 I'm an entertainer. 537 00:49:44,563 --> 00:49:47,336 Ah, before you go on, you need to drink a compliance. 538 00:49:47,361 --> 00:49:49,684 They give me one back there. Really? Oh, OK. 539 00:49:49,809 --> 00:49:52,719 Well, in that case, you are good to... 540 00:49:53,855 --> 00:49:55,173 go. 541 00:50:08,694 --> 00:50:09,995 Who are you? 542 00:50:10,243 --> 00:50:11,639 Bing Madsen. 543 00:50:12,304 --> 00:50:14,132 What are you planning to do for us? 544 00:50:14,142 --> 00:50:15,444 What the fuck?! 545 00:50:15,520 --> 00:50:16,990 'A sort of performance.' 546 00:50:17,833 --> 00:50:19,319 A sort of performance? 547 00:50:19,389 --> 00:50:20,690 Yes. 548 00:50:20,815 --> 00:50:23,140 Mmm! Man of mystery! 549 00:50:23,800 --> 00:50:25,109 Hmm. 550 00:50:28,160 --> 00:50:30,012 I suppose we'd better see it. 551 00:50:30,609 --> 00:50:31,915 OK. 552 00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:37,959 ♪ BASS INTRO, BUILDING IN INTENSITY 553 00:50:41,120 --> 00:50:43,399 ♪ HIP-HOP RHYTHM KICKS IN 554 00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:47,399 CHEERING 555 00:51:13,323 --> 00:51:14,605 Knob'ead! 556 00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:16,288 Fucking cock! 557 00:51:26,240 --> 00:51:30,239 CROWD YELLS AND WHOOPS 558 00:51:30,280 --> 00:51:33,827 Stop or I'll do it. This is a main artery. Keep walking, you kill me. 559 00:51:37,699 --> 00:51:41,330 No-one stops me till I've said my piece. Then you can do what you like. 560 00:51:41,339 --> 00:51:43,109 Man, just fucking kill yourself. 561 00:51:43,114 --> 00:51:46,799 Get heavy on me, I swear to God, I kick your ass back to life, 562 00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:48,879 just so I could cut your goddamn head off. 563 00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:50,879 CROWD CHANTS 564 00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:52,189 Go on! 565 00:51:55,880 --> 00:51:57,679 I think we should let him speak. 566 00:51:57,680 --> 00:51:59,039 CHEERING 567 00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:03,039 (CROWD CHANTS) Speak! Speak! Speak! Speak! Speak! 568 00:52:04,960 --> 00:52:06,919 Let's hear what he has to say. 569 00:52:06,920 --> 00:52:10,313 CHEERING 570 00:52:10,868 --> 00:52:12,178 Well? 571 00:52:12,199 --> 00:52:13,557 Come on. 572 00:52:14,039 --> 00:52:16,538 Got our attention, as requested. 573 00:52:18,080 --> 00:52:19,386 What do you want to say? 574 00:52:23,480 --> 00:52:25,759 Have you prepared a speech, is that it? 575 00:52:27,732 --> 00:52:29,038 Speak! 576 00:52:29,043 --> 00:52:32,594 I haven't got a speech. I didn't plan words. I didn't even try to... 577 00:52:32,595 --> 00:52:36,149 I just knew I had to get here, to stand here, and I wanted you to listen. 578 00:52:36,150 --> 00:52:39,136 To really listen, not just pull a face like you're listening, 579 00:52:39,140 --> 00:52:40,811 like you do the rest of the time. 580 00:52:40,817 --> 00:52:43,440 A face that you're feeling instead of processing. 581 00:52:43,565 --> 00:52:46,239 You pull a face, and poke it towards the stage, 582 00:52:46,240 --> 00:52:50,635 and we lah-di-dah, we sing and dance and tumble around. 583 00:52:50,644 --> 00:52:53,198 And all you see up here, it's not people, 584 00:52:53,210 --> 00:52:55,719 you don't see people up here, it's all fodder. 585 00:52:55,720 --> 00:52:58,184 And the faker the fodder, the more you love it, 586 00:52:58,200 --> 00:53:00,879 because fake fodder's the only thing that works any more. 587 00:53:00,880 --> 00:53:03,439 It's all that we can stomach. Actually, not quite all. 588 00:53:03,440 --> 00:53:05,759 Real pain, real viciousness, that, we can take. 589 00:53:05,760 --> 00:53:07,396 Yeah, stick a fat man up a pole. 590 00:53:07,400 --> 00:53:10,319 We laugh ourselves feral, because we've earned the right, 591 00:53:10,320 --> 00:53:12,838 we've done cell time and he's slacking, the scum, 592 00:53:12,844 --> 00:53:14,067 so ha-ha-ha at him! 593 00:53:14,082 --> 00:53:16,687 Because we're so out of our minds with desperation, 594 00:53:16,688 --> 00:53:18,430 we don't know any better. 595 00:53:18,455 --> 00:53:20,919 All we know is fake fodder and buying shit. 596 00:53:20,920 --> 00:53:22,719 That's how we speak to each other, 597 00:53:22,720 --> 00:53:24,968 how we express ourselves, is buying shit. 598 00:53:24,992 --> 00:53:26,359 What, I have a dream? 599 00:53:26,360 --> 00:53:30,665 The peak of our dreams is a new app for our Dopple, it doesn't exist! 600 00:53:30,689 --> 00:53:32,079 It's not even there! 601 00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:33,839 We buy shit that's not even there. 602 00:53:33,840 --> 00:53:37,039 Show us something real and free and beautiful. You couldn't. 603 00:53:37,040 --> 00:53:38,519 Yeah? It'd break us. 604 00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:40,119 We're too numb for it. 605 00:53:40,120 --> 00:53:41,599 I might as well choke. 606 00:53:41,600 --> 00:53:43,639 It's only so much wonder we can bear. 607 00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:47,324 When you find any wonder whatsoever, you dole it out in meagre portions. 608 00:53:47,332 --> 00:53:49,667 Only then until it's augmented, packaged, and 609 00:53:49,679 --> 00:53:52,195 pumped through 10,000 preassigned filters 610 00:53:52,202 --> 00:53:55,239 till it's nothing more than a meaningless series of lights, 611 00:53:55,240 --> 00:53:58,639 while we ride day in day out, going where? 612 00:53:59,523 --> 00:54:00,841 Powering what? 613 00:54:01,381 --> 00:54:04,626 All tiny cells and tiny screens and bigger cells 614 00:54:04,634 --> 00:54:06,404 and bigger screens and fuck you! 615 00:54:06,607 --> 00:54:09,713 Fuck you, that's what it boils down to. 616 00:54:10,422 --> 00:54:13,959 Fuck you for sitting there and slowly making things worse. 617 00:54:14,084 --> 00:54:17,519 Fuck you and your spotlight and your sanctimonious faces. 618 00:54:17,520 --> 00:54:19,799 Fuck you all for thinking the one thing 619 00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:22,039 I came close to never meant anything. 620 00:54:22,752 --> 00:54:26,972 For oozing around it and crushing it into a bone, into a joke. 621 00:54:26,980 --> 00:54:30,439 One more ugly joke in a kingdom of millions. 622 00:54:30,954 --> 00:54:32,887 Fuck you for happening. 623 00:54:34,280 --> 00:54:37,355 Fuck you for me, for us, for everyone. 624 00:54:37,373 --> 00:54:38,679 Fuck you! 625 00:54:39,880 --> 00:54:42,637 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 626 00:55:00,675 --> 00:55:03,224 That was, without a doubt, 627 00:55:05,057 --> 00:55:08,912 the most heartfelt thing I've seen on this stage 628 00:55:09,445 --> 00:55:11,186 since Hotshot began! 629 00:55:11,560 --> 00:55:15,996 CHEERING 630 00:55:16,671 --> 00:55:17,978 Brilliant! 631 00:55:18,403 --> 00:55:19,624 You... 632 00:55:20,323 --> 00:55:23,359 you're so articulating something we all, 633 00:55:23,360 --> 00:55:26,035 and I mean everyone in this hall, 634 00:55:26,417 --> 00:55:28,479 something we all agree on. 635 00:55:28,954 --> 00:55:31,679 Even though we may not comprehend all of it. 636 00:55:32,165 --> 00:55:35,162 I think I'm right in saying we do feel it. 637 00:55:36,530 --> 00:55:37,835 Even me. 638 00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:40,475 I know you've got me down as this creature. 639 00:55:40,997 --> 00:55:42,850 You know, hey... 640 00:55:44,377 --> 00:55:46,554 I get where you're coming from. 641 00:55:46,857 --> 00:55:49,108 - I like your stuff. - It's not stuff. 642 00:55:49,133 --> 00:55:51,117 It's truth. Am I right? 643 00:55:53,179 --> 00:55:56,719 Your truth, admittedly, but truth nonetheless. 644 00:55:57,440 --> 00:55:58,750 And you're right. 645 00:55:59,046 --> 00:56:02,577 Authenticity is in woefully short supply. 646 00:56:04,821 --> 00:56:06,877 I'd like to hear you talk again. 647 00:56:10,280 --> 00:56:11,590 How so? 648 00:56:12,169 --> 00:56:14,656 The slot on one of my streams 649 00:56:15,638 --> 00:56:18,051 where you can talk just like that. 650 00:56:21,461 --> 00:56:24,409 I'd watch it. It was such great passion. 651 00:56:26,859 --> 00:56:30,180 He's a'right. You're a little hot there, bud. 652 00:56:30,941 --> 00:56:33,242 That throat cutting thing? Neat gimmick. 653 00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:34,958 What do you say? 654 00:56:35,720 --> 00:56:37,759 30 minutes twice a week? 655 00:56:37,760 --> 00:56:40,119 CHEERING 656 00:56:40,120 --> 00:56:44,660 (CROWD) Do it, do it, do it! Do it, do it, do it! 657 00:56:45,568 --> 00:56:50,107 Do it, do it, do it! Do it, do it, do it! 658 00:56:50,990 --> 00:56:55,239 Do it, do it, do it! 659 00:56:55,240 --> 00:56:56,919 Do it, do it, do it! 660 00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:58,639 Go on, you bastard. 661 00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:02,639 (CROWD) Do it, do it, do it! Do it, do it, do it! 662 00:57:04,013 --> 00:57:05,468 Beats the bike. 663 00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:07,333 Certainly does. 664 00:57:07,840 --> 00:57:12,855 CHANTING CONTINUES 665 00:57:23,400 --> 00:57:27,399 'We have with us Oliver. Oliver ate and ate 666 00:57:27,520 --> 00:57:31,399 'till he hit 17 stone and he's here today to try and beat us 667 00:57:31,716 --> 00:57:34,359 'on Botherguts! 668 00:57:35,607 --> 00:57:36,975 'Keep going.' 669 00:57:39,280 --> 00:57:42,555 ♪ They wept awhile 670 00:57:43,404 --> 00:57:46,679 ♪ Putting through the darkness... ♪ 671 00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:52,155 OK, I'm going to stop you there. That was achingly terrible. 672 00:57:52,280 --> 00:57:56,279 You have the magnetism of a towel. I don't ever want to look at you again. 673 00:57:56,840 --> 00:57:59,879 I have to agree. I'm so sorry, love. 674 00:58:00,144 --> 00:58:03,427 You came across as fundamentally unlikeable 675 00:58:03,452 --> 00:58:05,919 and really quite worthless. 676 00:58:06,942 --> 00:58:10,475 You could fill that pussy with honey and I still wouldn't fuck it. 677 00:58:10,600 --> 00:58:13,746 I'm a good singer. I can sing, yeah. 678 00:58:13,871 --> 00:58:15,639 Cos this is my destiny 679 00:58:15,867 --> 00:58:17,794 and I can sing, fu...! 680 00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:23,081 'Like that, don't you, Harry? 681 00:58:23,922 --> 00:58:25,239 'Ah-huh. 682 00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:26,599 'Say it. 683 00:58:27,213 --> 00:58:28,518 'Yeah. 684 00:58:28,760 --> 00:58:29,999 (LAUGHS) 685 00:58:30,000 --> 00:58:33,999 '15,000 new wardrobe options 686 00:58:34,086 --> 00:58:35,723 'launched last week alone. 687 00:58:36,612 --> 00:58:40,599 'It effectively translates as 15,000 new ways to kill time 688 00:58:40,724 --> 00:58:43,279 'in your cell before you explore an afterlife 689 00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:45,024 'which doesn't exist anyway. 690 00:58:45,385 --> 00:58:48,864 'With any luck, it'll take your mind off those saddle sores, eh? 691 00:58:50,080 --> 00:58:54,079 'You know the only thing stopping me from slashing myself open right now? 692 00:58:56,189 --> 00:58:58,104 'I might not die right away. 693 00:58:58,116 --> 00:59:00,294 'And before I went, they'd find a way 694 00:59:00,302 --> 00:59:02,479 'to charge my twitching half-dead cadaver, 695 00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:05,437 '20,000 merits for swabbing the walls clean.' 696 00:59:05,438 --> 00:59:06,748 - Yeah. - Anyway, 697 00:59:07,956 --> 00:59:09,398 'hang on in there 698 00:59:09,710 --> 00:59:11,011 if you must. 699 00:59:17,120 --> 00:59:19,399 'We're all in this together they say. 700 00:59:19,400 --> 00:59:20,711 'Yeah, right. 701 00:59:23,080 --> 00:59:24,488 'Farewell for ever. 702 00:59:27,200 --> 00:59:28,906 'Till the same time next week.' 703 00:59:31,306 --> 00:59:32,612 BEEPING 704 00:59:33,244 --> 00:59:34,553 Stream off-line. 705 01:00:09,660 --> 01:00:10,965 ♪ Anyone 706 01:00:13,395 --> 01:00:14,787 ♪ Anyone 707 01:00:17,120 --> 01:00:18,433 ♪ Anyone 708 01:00:21,206 --> 01:00:22,524 ♪ Anyone 709 01:00:24,503 --> 01:00:27,089 ♪ You can blame me 710 01:00:28,271 --> 01:00:30,807 ♪ Try to shame me 711 01:00:30,932 --> 01:00:35,439 ♪ And still I'll care for you 712 01:00:39,920 --> 01:00:42,222 ♪ You can run around 713 01:00:43,926 --> 01:00:46,413 ♪ Even put me down 714 01:00:46,762 --> 01:00:50,879 ♪ Still I'll be there for you 715 01:00:55,800 --> 01:01:01,598 ♪ The world may think I'm foolish 716 01:01:01,959 --> 01:01:04,826 ♪ They can't see you 717 01:01:05,980 --> 01:01:08,927 ♪ Like I can 718 01:01:09,520 --> 01:01:16,897 ♪ Oh, but anyone who knows what love is 719 01:01:18,360 --> 01:01:23,225 ♪ Will understand 720 01:01:26,838 --> 01:01:28,280 ♪ Anyone 721 01:01:30,748 --> 01:01:32,277 ♪ Anyone 722 01:01:32,737 --> 01:01:36,804 ♪ Oh, they'll understand 723 01:01:38,640 --> 01:01:39,950 ♪ Anyone 724 01:01:39,963 --> 01:01:44,490 ♪ If they try love they'll understand... ♪ 725 01:01:45,200 --> 01:01:52,999 Subtitles by APOLLO www.addic7ed.com